across the universe

2003-08-21T20:05:00.000-07:00

i have converted to xanga!!
my xanga

2003-08-04T22:02:00.000-07:00

priorities

ggrr i am sick of drama mama. i just need to chill and be the laid-back fun-loving jenn that i once was. thanks to my good friends in so cal, i was able to do just that this past weekend

knott's berry farm was a blast to the past. it brought back memories of being a kid.. being on hyperdrive 24/7 until i crash at night, getting scared and nervous about riding roller coasters. and as we were plunging down the xcelerator (or whatever it's called) i realized, i'm too old for this.
but spending the day with mr. third trimester (and getting bbq and coffee) was fun and a half :)

and saturday was a day full of (good) surprises. kris, jane, and i bummed in several l.a. coffee shops, drinking black tea, ordering dessert, and chatting and smoking up a storm. i guess we were planning on shopping at melrose, but we were sitting on our butts more than we were shopping. oh well, i will go shopping there some other time. among the coffee shops were highland grounds, urth, and insomnia.
i also got to eat pink's chili dog, and got a phone call from the one and only big sis! aahh i love talking to that girl- we always share good advice and encouragements.. things we want and need to hear. i can't wait to see you when i come up this week!!
audris joined us to go clubbing at bang. the music selection totally rocked. indie rock and brit pop - waayy different from the hip hopping parties that i am so used to. but even tho i was so obviously out of place, i had a blast~ the place reminded me of the club that my co-workers and i went to last summer.. where i got kicked out after 20 min. yeah. that was no fun.
by the time we left, 1:30am, audris and i were totally passing out from fatigue, but we decided to go to jerry's famous deli and grub. aahh matzo ball soup is so comforting late at night..

yeah, so that was the fun part of the weekend. there were lotsa not-so-fun parts, but i guess that's not really what xanga is for. let's just say, i realized i cannot make others happy by the things i do - i can only make myself happy. and even though that sounds a bit selfish, we are selfish beings, so sue me.

*white stripes - fell in love with a girl
shoutout to dj lino the philipino cuz i love him sooo much. :)

2003-07-29T17:01:00.000-07:00

A positive

my blood and urine test results finally came out-
i will refrain from revealing all the results, but i am in pretty good shape and i finally know my blood type after 19.6 years in the dark!!

today was yet another busy day with dentist and doctors visits. GGRR no more of those for me!! another two novacane shots and two drillings(?), a measles booster shot, and a friggin hour of waiting in the doctor's office. ggrrrr

sopi/lfe camping trip: july 25-27

one of the more interesting trips i have experienced. first night was.. err.. stressful, but it was still fun making fun of daniel for his lack of korean-ness. burro wings too hot for you?? weaksauce!! hahaha. and big 2 aka pisoi aka 13 was the card game of the weekend. jenny and i reigned as champions.
the sun refused to show the next day, but we still had fun at morro bay playing stupid mind trick games: the stick game, black magic, the number game, sculpting game...etc. and at night, i was not myself. hahaha big humongous thank you's to becky, jenny, david, and daniel for all your help. eeuuww i still remember chunkiness.

but best of all, i finally got to meet some of the infamous pledge bros and pledge sisses.
jennay: yay pledge sis! u are crazy, about to embark on yet another road trip. i know u guys will have so many laughs on the way there cuz u always got funny things to talk about! :)
fungus: you were like our entertainment for the weekend. i had fun just watching and laughing at your funniness. and the nicknames.. whether they like it or not, they will stick!
ivy: crazy driver~ u give us women a bad name!! haha jk :) u are so cute pledge sis!
tammy: it's the tammy show! u are so funny intoxicated p.sis. too bad i didn't get to see u live :)
sandy: star gazing, eh? haha :) i didn't get to talk to u much pledge sis, but i know i will see u at mandatory sopi schtuff sometime in the near future! come up to berkeley to play sometime, k?
sean: big props to you for planning the camping trip and for being 1/4 korean. crown royal next time, yeah?
david: non-korean korean. it was really fun talking to u on the drive up (and thanks for driving down). i'm honored to have been present in the beginnings of a blossoming.. yeah.
daniel: u weaksauce. i'm really sorry about the um.. chunky moisturizing lotion incident. eeuww- let's go to roscoe's and stuff our faces with non-spicy chicken and waffles okay?
eugene: berkeley! berkeley made me do it- ggrrr i will get u back, berkeley! but seriously, i'm so glad i got to meet finally meet the berkeley pb~ i swear i wasn't ignoring u during school (not on purpose at least) :) u better tell your 2 pb's what a cool pledge sis i am!!
carlo: omg i almost forgot your name cuz all i remember is calling you osama! hahaha mr. bin ladin. okay, i swear, thats the last time i call u that. haha u got thrown into the ocean- booo u almost threw me in too
izumi: ggrr i wanna call u by your nickname but u wont let me :( it's okay~ hmm i dont remember talking to u much pb.. maybe next time
doug: funny funny guy. thanks for letting all 100000 of us crash at your place. bodies and sleeping bags everywhere! hope u have fun in slo aka the ultimate boonie watching mtv and gambling
alvin: authentic flour sack- i appreciated your fashion statement :) thrift store shopping is fun, huh! let's hang out in so.cal this summer okay? socal pride!
ken: lovers leap partner~ stop staring at me evilly while playing big 2.. u were freaking me out

now i really wanna go on a trip to cancun~ i hear the nightlife there is perty fun- who's in?? it's gotta be sometime before aug 28th (when i leave for france)
and whaddya think of the thunderstorms and random bits of rain in the middle of july? weirrd..

*chingy - right thurr

2003-07-23T17:43:00.000-07:00

numbness

the freakiest/coolest thing happened at the dentist's office today.
while i was about to get two novacane(?) shots to numb my mouth, guess what song played in the background?

WE ARE FAMILY - sister sledge

yea, since i had no one to grab, i started grabbing myself in preparation for the pain (the way i grab people while watching movies), and what a relief to hear our pledge class song! the shots didnt even hurt that much..
aaahhhh i love my beautifys. can't wait to be together this weekend. there will be drunken madness and much fun :)

now it's therapeutic chick flick time with the coolest ahs chica and lino the mandy moore chick flick lover. haahahah

some lyrics from j.lo's - all i have

well im bouncing and I'm out son
I gotta leave you alone

'Cause im good
Holding down my spot
And I'm good
Reppin the girls on the block
And I'm good
I got this thing on lock!
So without me you'll be fine, right?

*j.lo - all i have

2003-07-22T17:14:00.000-07:00

this is what happened

warning: may be highly offensive to xy-ers

charlotte and harry (the jewish lawyer) in sex and the city

harry is not the kind of guy charlotte dates. harry is a short, hairy, chubby, pushy, and sweaty lawyer who doesn't possess any of the characteristics that charlotte desires in a man.
she wouldn't have even considered him to be anything more than her divorce lawyer until he made a move on her. he poured his heart out to her, telling her how highly he thinks of her and what a perfect woman she is. at a vulnerable state, charlotte ignored her apprehension and uncertainties and, well, slept with harry.

now, they are in a relationship and are pretty serious. and now, harry tells charlotte that he cannot go any further because she is not jewish. he was okay with sleeping with her before, but now, when she has grown to love him, he doesn't want her anymore?

and charlotte explores judaism and considers becoming jewish for harry.

sound familiar?

it's all about the chase. whether good-looking or ugly, all guys are the same, and all they care about is putting another name on their list of heart-broken girls.
every single guy that passes me by should apologize for being male. but even that wouldn't be enough for me. and don't act like you're the one who's hurt.

#*%& you

2003-07-21T00:46:00.000-07:00

battle of the sexes

here, in this conversation about a wedding, is a prime example of the difference between guys and girls:

aleX s Hyun (12:34:09 AM): food wasn't all that great
j e n n 637 (12:34:39 AM): aww
j e n n 637 (12:34:42 AM): where was it?
j e n n 637 (12:34:50 AM): food isnt all that matters in a wedding u know
aleX s Hyun (12:34:54 AM): at my church
aleX s Hyun (12:34:59 AM): haha
aleX s Hyun (12:34:59 AM): haha
aleX s Hyun (12:34:59 AM): yeah it is
aleX s Hyun (12:35:03 AM): what are you talkin about?
j e n n 637 (12:35:21 AM): huh?
aleX s Hyun (12:35:29 AM): food is all that matters

guys- one track mind. seek only satisfaction and things that please them (what do u call that word?)
girls- sensitive. happy to celebrate in other people's happiness and to share in other's sadness.

but we still love alex :)

2003-07-20T00:02:00.000-07:00

steam

saddest song in the world that describes how i feel:

Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize - don't patronize me

Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't

I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight

Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't

*bonnie raitt - i can't make you love me

2003-07-19T00:58:00.000-07:00

closure

man, i wish i were at the dodger game er.. last night. the 6th inning was pretty exciting~ slowly but surely the dodgers caught up and won! home run, double play, wonderful pitchers (gagne means gained/won), and best of all, 8-5! TAKE THAT
haha that one baseball game at pacbell park really got me into baseball. now i wanna go to dodger stadium and watch a game with fellow dodger fans. all the black and orange at s.f. was kindof intimidating.

today was kindof a productive day. after mommy came back from work, we went to the library to return her books and she got two new books and i got two movies - ma vie en rose, and singing in the rain. i wanted to get two more: bleu and rouge (two of the color trilogy, french classics). i will get those on the next library run.
i just finished watching ma vie en rose, and although it won a golden globe, i found it slightly aggravating. ggrr.. every single character in that movie pissed me off. oh well, c'est la vie. shrug.

hmm after library we went to the salvation army to donate about 6 boxes of clothing. whenever i try to get rid of old clothes my mom gives me this whole lecture on why i shouldn't buy new stuff when i already have so much. aahh but FINALLY i got to clean out my closet and get rid of dilapidated old clothing. YES!

we then headed to the korean market to fill up our already stuffed refridgerator. we got almost every kind of vegetable, my mom got yet another packet of kim despite the gazillions of packets we already have... it was fun :)
we used some of our new ingredients to make nakk ji bbok kum. hmm how shall i translate this, sauteed squid? nevertheless it was good stuff. after the meal we boiled some corn and had a feast on those while watching the dodger game on tv. my vacation is starting to sound pretty good~

but despite all this goodness, i can't seem to let go of the one thing that makes me sad, mad, anxious, nervous, excited, and worried all at the same time. i can feel it slowly eating me away. i know i'll get hurt. i know he'll hurt me.
WHY is it that when it comes to boys, i can't seem to do the right thing?
why do i blatently disregard the best advice given to me and ignore what my head says?
why do i hold onto this sadness when i could just lay them down at God's feet?
my priorities have really gone whack..

*the beatles - let it be

2003-07-17T23:09:00.000-07:00

wandering eyes

the beach was SOOO perfect for today. a strawberries wild smoothie, a togo sandwich, and lotsa catching up and advice-sharing with angie also added that special touch. seriously, i do not understand why we don't hang out more often!! haha there were lotsa funny things said that i will keep to myself.
it must be pretty hot when it's even hot at the beach. yea. we split our time sizzling and sharing in the sun or playing in the water with the kiddos. kids infested the water everywhere!! and i got a little more tanned then i thought... but i like it! :)
i should enjoy the beach while i can. really, the sound of crashing waves and kid playing in the distance is really quite soothing.

mm then a protein packed dinner at home with mommy topped the day off- a simple top sirloin steak with salad. oof i'm so tired from beaching and.. i dunno what else.. i dont think i'll even watch law and order (one of my new fav tv shows)
man that show is so goood. but not as good as sex and the city!

it is almost official: nor cal road trip with dj lino from july 31 to whenever~

*liz phair - why can't i

2003-07-16T18:37:00.000-07:00

whirlpool

the nouveau frigo is finally here! hopefully this means i don't have to worry about milk spoiling in like 4 days. it's a white whirlpool that looks pretty humongous in our humble abode. hehehe but i'm sure that my mom won't have any trouble filling it up with random antioxidant drinks, marinade, and seafood galore :)

speaking of mommy. she is oh so busy. sigh.. the highlight of coming back home isn't even home most of the time! and if she IS home she gets called out to do this and that.. the hectic life (or lack of life) of a nurse. remind me not to be a nurse. i'm trying to make her life a little more comfortable by me being here - helping around the house, etc. but i may be causing more mess than i am cleaning up.
sigh. i'm useless.

maybe i should have taken summer school session C. i took session A so that i would have more time to spend at home, but look where that is turning out! my berkeley friends are not in so cal, and neither are my agoura friends! they are A) taking summer school at their respective colleges B) working full-time on weekdays C) working full-time at some random location for the summer
we are all growing up to fast!

workaholic
that's what i am. judy even told me so. yesterday at our dinner and a movie "date," i was whining about being so bored here after only a couple days and it was brought to my attention that i am possibly a workaholic. i always seek for excitement and will not sit still. i thrive on being a busy bee. i prolly got this from my workaholic mother :)

i wish i could find some fun and well-paying job, but since i only have about a month in this country(!) i think that will be a little hard. but i've made a phone call to the valley community clinic in north hollywood for a possible volunteer opportunity?? sigh.. the struggles of becomming a doctor. not only do u have to take competitive classes and get a good GPA, you also have to do well on the MCATs, volunteer ridiculous numbers of hours, and.. well.. be noteworthy!! and not only is med school torture but there's residency. yikes.

but that's what i want :)
all this talk about the future gets me excited. ya.. sometimes i have to remind myself to focus on now

* u2 - the sweetest thing

2003-07-11T17:47:00.000-07:00

13.7 gal

for the past week, i have travelled..

berkeley to riverside/irvine/rowland heights
rowland heights to agoura hills
agoura hills to berkeley
berkeley to agoura hills

too much time spent in the car!!!

but on the way to berkeley from agoura, a car fire caused brushfire on the hills next to I-5, so all 5 lanes of the freeway were blocked!!! stopped in the 5 freeway with the heat and summer sun is not so fun! but while in heavy traffic, the gas light turned on.. indicating that i will soon be outta gas. after traffic clears, i saw a gas station but there were wayy too many cars and trucks getting off that exit, so i continued to drive. to my dismay, the next service station was 25 miles and the gas bar was going lower, and lower, and lower... we turned off the a/c to conserve some gas
soon i felt the car losing power and i had to press harder on the gas to go 60 mph. i was sweating like crazy and my mom was too..
8 more miles to go, but i thought my car was gonna die after 3. but.. WE MADE IT!!!
and when we were filling up gas, the car took 13.7 gallons. the tank holds 14 gallons.
what a miracle.

okay. well, now i am back in hot ol agoura, but my heart is still back in berkeley

j e n n 637 (3:28:06 PM): i misss berkeleeeyyy
a duck egg white (3:29:16 PM): hahah awww
a duck egg white (3:29:18 PM): we miss u too

sigh. i was sooo hungry today cuz i am afraid to eat anything outta the fridge because everything seems to spoil within 2 days in it.. and i wanted so badly to go to intermezzo or coffee source or cafe sorrento and get a big crunchy salad..
i feel like i have so much unfinished business left in berkeley. there is always so much fun to be had and i'm missing out on it!!
well, u know what that means: road trip. anyone in socal lemme know if u wanna go up in early or lateish august.

but some things i look forward to in so.cal are:
- finishing my eap paperwork schtuff
- going to irvine/riverside and playing with the sopis
- working out at 24 hour fitness(?)
- reading fast food nation and au contraire! (some book on french ppl).
- shopping and eating and cooking with my mommy
- camping trip with sopi pledge sisters and lambda pledge bros(?)

yay alpha sopi!!

* ultimate fakebook - glitter and glue

2003-06-26T16:19:00.000-07:00

take me out to the ballgame~

dodgers 6: giants 0

woo hoo!! go dodgers.
so my neighbor martin had a brilliant idea to go to a dodgers/giants game yesterday. i tagged along and it was fun!! wow. my first baseball game. it was kinda sucky cuz there were maybe 20 dodgers fans in the entire stadium and the game wasn't too exhilerating. dodgers made 16 hits and giants.. 3?
ahhaaha
but it's all good cuz dodgers won

the bay area has been BROILING in the sun the past few days. it's like korea minus the humidity. if only there were a nice breeze...
but at night, it is just perfect. walking outside in just a skirt and tank top. sleeping in underwear..

well. with only 1 week of summer school and maybe 2 weeks (or less) left in berkeley, i'm kinda starting to realize what i'm going to be leaving behind this fall. wonderful friends, super sopis, all the rigors and excitement of the school year...
i'm missing fall rush, the opportunity of becomming a ugsi for chem, contributing to ficb and such

but hopefully a new and fresh experience in france will make up for all that i'm missing here.. and more.

* ultimate fakebook - tell me what you want
punk rock in the summer sun makes my summer complete :)

2003-06-22T23:13:00.000-07:00

doggle!

according to in style magazine, bright greens and fresh yellows are IN for the summer.
to get the lime green mini skirt at sway or not...
if it were any color, i woulda sooo gotten it. and theres that funky red semi-long skirt with various colored flowers with green ribbon that hangs down..
man i wish i could pull off funky clothing.

anyway, i have yet another paper to write tonight. of course the rough draft is due tomorrow so i am starting right now. ARGH this is a very bad habit i have picked up this summer. i hate writing papers!!! there is a reason why i am an econ/pre-med major.

movie recommendation: "Changing Faces" also maybe called "King of Masks"
it's some random Chinese movie bor kae made us watch, and surprisingly it was good!
talks about dutiful children. in korean, you'd call it hyo jah for boys and hyo nyuh for girls.

anyway, ok. back to write the dreaded paper on sula by toni morrison. tomorrow is s.f. day with the agoura gang!

* nemo - goldfish song

2003-06-20T14:02:00.000-07:00

i heart ny

oh my gosh. i just realized how excited i am for SEX AND THE CITY: SEASON 6

satc has been my all time favorite show. it's funny, sexy, crazy, and real. when i'm watching the show, i get soo engrossed in all the beautiful people, beautiful clothes..

and it also brings back good memories of freshman year. me and my-lan would sit in our dorm room for hours watching downloaded episodes.. and we both wanna live in ny and live like carrie someday.

carrie is my hero.

all images couresy of hbo.com

* kc and jojo - all my life

2003-06-19T23:45:00.000-07:00

best buy

my laptop is finally on its way to repair. grrr it is so hard not living without computer/internet especially when one depends on e-mail and aim for communication.
yes. xanga, blogger, and friendster too.

i've been trying to live a more healthy life these days. running, eating lower fat foods, not eating out as much... etc. i went to the supermarchet avec kevin and got some much needed grub. no more china express, fu lin, or other ghetto fattening eateries in berkeley.

okay. i was gonna go running but bor kae decided to hit my shins and now there's a fatty bruise there. actually, i'm exaggerating a little but it hurts! :(

i'll cheer myself up with some starcraft :)

* coldplay - the scientist
anyone have some good indie song recommendations? i'm getting bored with this mainstream muzac.

2003-06-11T17:04:00.000-07:00

(b)itchy

when i went running monday night, some mosquito decided to have a feast on me. i have big swollen itchy bites on my right leg, my left arm, and my waist. ahhhh it reminds me of being in korea over the summer and nightly mosquito bites. mosquitos seem to choose me over any other person in the room (!) maybe cuz i have sweet blood. is there even such thing as "sweet blood"? i say mosquitos prefer me cuz i am sweet and cuz i have a warm heart. hahaha. my coworker told me that something in bananas repell mosquitos. maybe i will try eating some.

today, i decided to stop being lazy and go to work. working is kindof like running. the hardest part is taking that first step out the door to work/run. cuz once i'm at work, it is sooo much fun. my co-workers and i chillax most of the time, telling each other funny stories about the kids at LHS, talking about other co-workers. when there's serious work to be done, we're on top of it, of course.
my co-workers, although some were difficult to get along with at first, are sweethearts. well, the newer ones are questionnable.
for example, one of the recent graduates got accepted to graduate school at harvard for education. As a farewell, she had a barbeque at her house in danville on monday. I had received her e-mail invitation, but thinking that the barbeque was like a week later, i kindof forgot about it. When monday came, i decided to be lazy and stay at home, nap, and maybe run a little bit.

* weezer - holiday

2003-06-09T16:32:00.000-07:00

bossy!!!!

one word of advice: do not work with pushy people. they tend to take most of the credit for your work, while your effort goes unnoticed.
it's kindof like the lead singer getting all the girls/guys and fame while the rest of the band, equal contributers to the show, sit in the background.

good leaders should know when they should assert themselves and when they should listen.
even if the majority of the group/constituents wants one thing but you strongly believe that the one thing isn't good for the group/constituents, a good leader knows when to back down!!

* weezer - island in the sun

2003-06-08T18:53:00.000-07:00

envy...

instead of grocery shopping for food, i have been eating out everyday. it's so bad yet soooo good :)

yesterday night bk took me to the house of prime rib.
good food, good company, good atmosphere made it a great night~ just to rub it in your faces more, let me indulge you with details. i had the city cut, medium done. that's 6 oz. of prime rib, yorkshire pudding, a huge plate of hand-tossed salad covered in cherry vinigrette dressing (secret recipe!), with a side of mashed potatoes (with pieces of bacon in it) and creamed spinach. and there was dessert!! bread pudding.. a beautiful concoction of sweetened bread piled up and covered with rum and amaretto syrupy yummyness. mmmm. my favorite part was soaking the yorkshire pudding in au jus and tasting the sweet juices of the steak along with it.
wow.

today, for lunch after church, danny, sarah, kevin, stephen, and i went to san jose taqueria. my first time!! they're quite famous for their HUGE portions filled with lotsa meat. i got the regular carne asada burrito. everything about that burrito was perfect! the meat, rice, beans, and tomatoes were overflowing the toasted tortilla. mmmmmm. the scary part is, no one, including me, thought i could finish that huge burrito. it was the size of my head!! kevin and stephen had the super carne asada burrito. and stephen.. man.. he was trying so hard to finish that thing it was SOO gross. he was stuffing it in so forcefully even tho he was noticeably full, and the food was spilling out of his mouth. can't take him anywhere, man!

in 1.5 hours, i'm gonna go out to eat with my big sis. wheeeee.
man, after this eating binge, i'm gonna go on a shopping binge!!! who's in?

good times with the beautifys.. miss ya babeees

* 50 cent - 21 questions

2003-06-07T02:59:00.000-07:00

summer school?

summer school is sooo not chill this year. people usually take extra classes in the summer to boost their GPA cuz when classes are crammed into 6-week and 8-week sessions, profs and GSI's tend to be a little easier on us.
not this summer.

essays, readings, presentations, more readings.. no time to play!!!

argg.. but today i finally got to sit back with the friends and even blog! i prolly won't be blogging much cuz my toshiba laptop died on me and refuses to be woken up. translation: i press the power button and the light that says the power is on comes on but the computer doesn't turn on! problem with RAM? power supply? i dunno!

after meeting with my presentation group for the 3rd time in 5 days, i ate at pho hoa, followed by crafty creations at coldstone (haha alliteration), then we goofed around at kevin's new apartment in piedmont palace, and watched talk to her.

decomposing the events of today,
-pho hoa was GREAT. i plan on becoming a regular at that tidy little eatery.
-kevin stole my concoction, banana ice cream w/reeses mix-in, but i rose above him and made a new one. strawberry ice cream with twix mix-in. not as good as the banana reeses tho...
-there's a lot of fun to be had at kevin's. next time i wanna watch incriminating home videos and play speed scrabble.
-talk to her is kinda weird. i gotta read some reviews about that movie.. i dunno what to think of it. poor alice chuong (sp?) was sitting next to me and was squished by my powerful grip. i have a tendency to reach for the closest human being and grab really hard when a movie is suspenseful or stressing me out.

can you believe i did all this within 6 hours?

well, there's more fun to come! tomorrow i look forward to..
more presentation preparations, getting my eyebrows threaded (my first time.. eep!), lunch with big sis, and dinner at house of prime rib in s.f.
city cut, here i come!!

* frankie j - don't wanna try

2003-05-31T15:05:00.000-07:00

rolling around

with my summer school schedule, the weekend basically starts on thursday afternoon, so ever since thursday afternoon i've been sooooo incredibly lazy. waking up late, playing sims, missing work, having my butt glued on the couch... not a pretty picture i know.
yesterday i made brunch for susan and we ate at 4pm!!! then dinner followed at 6pm. what the heck?

later on elena joined us and we all rolled around susan's apartment together. then we moved back to my apartment to watch "keeping the faith" [featuring edward norton, ben stiller, and jenna elfman]
good movie.
especially good because i felt like i could relate to it in some way. don't you love it when you listen to a song, watch a movie, read a book, etc. and the words express so well how you feel at that moment?

i've never had so many people visit me at the same time. yesterday, stephen, susan, and jung were over and my new roommate sarah was chillin with us and it was like a party in 205!! it'd be so fun if all my friends lived in the same apt complex [or even the same street]. it'd be just like the dorms :)
speaking of dorms, i am now officially a 3rd year student at Cal. how gross is that. i know many people feel me when i say i still feel like a freshman. man, we're gonna have people born in 85/86 up in here.

ok time to go eat some more~ enjoy your weekend everyone (mine lasts til tuesday!)

* daniel bedingfield - if you're not the one
i can particularly relate to this song right now. ahem.

2003-05-29T16:55:00.000-07:00

allergy?

reason #278124893 why i love kids:
a couple days ago at work i assisted a "pond's alive!" class (science class about habitats for 1st graders) and we were talking about the food web. the teacher posed a question: "what do the small animals and insects eat?" a lot of kids responded, "plants!" but this one kid shouted out, "allergy!"
the teacher and i gave a perplexed look and just as the teacher was about to explain what an allergy is, another kid said, "it's ALGAE, not allergy!"
hahahahaha that is just too cute.

summer in berkeley for the past week has been really really fun. for those of you who went back home, you are missing out!!
sunday i slept in (missed church and haas graduation.. yipes) and i don't remember what happened during the day, but at night was ashley chuong's birthday party~ what a fun night. i love just chillaxin and making fun of drunk people in the comfort of a friend's home. some highlights: met a coworker for the first time, deep talks with johnim and bor kae. but my body can't handle staying up til 3am anymore. yipes, i'm getting old...

on monday, memorial day, i did the traditional thing and had some barbeque at bor kae's. bkbbq. hahaha
there were the cute couples: helene and jason, eric and breanne(sp?), and there was the rest of us: borkae, bubba, juju, peter, and me. and we all watched bor kae's baby videos and oogled over his high school pictures. that boy is so loved... must be nice :)
but after the bbq came the highlight of the day. no. highlight of the summer.
THE SIMS: DELUXE baby.
we had rented the sims for gamecube saturday to find that alas, his roommate took his gamecube back home for summer! ever since then we were itching to play it. thankfully, EB games does not close on memorial day, so bk got the game and we got our game on. sososososooo fun~
every semester i have had a week or two when i was addicted to sims. in the dorms, i went to may's room and played til like 4-5am and people had to kick me out for my own good. hahahaha. last semester i went over to kai's almost every day and played sims in her room while she studied physics outside.
why am i sucha dork.

tuesday marked the beginning of session A. asianam is kindof... intimidating. since everyone has different opinions about race/gender/sexuality issues, i found it difficult to participate in class. i don't have a lot of opinions on things because i don't normally surround myself with controversial issues and discussions.
i planned on hiding my being semi-conservative because my gsi is super liberal. but she's pretty open to different ideas so it's kindof a free-for-all. we'll see how that goes.

* beyonce ft. jay-z - crazy in love

2003-05-24T14:13:00.000-07:00

j'ai fini!

*let the fun begin* - a novella by jennifer m lee

yesterday was quite an adventure.. lemme tell ya, we berkeley students may know how to study, but we also know how to get our partayy on! :)
brains AND fun - what a great combo!

after my econ 175 final [i hope i did well.. fingers crossed] i was wandering the streets of berkeley with jungabung when we ran into kristy and janeypoo. ooohh i love my unnis!!!! we went to darumas to "get our grub on" but alas, they had no flour to make noodles for jjam ppong! we felt bad, but we decided to take our business upstairs and got some jjam ppong, jja jang myun, and kam ppong chicken... yummylicious :)
after the grub fest, all of us minus jung went over to jane's to play nintendo64. dude, playing video games made me feel like a kid again - what a GREAT feeling. haha i like squealing and freaking out when i play games. it's fun to play with me!!

after a spontaneous dinner with the beta phis and kristin our new sopi president at tako sushi, i went home to change real quick before going to graduations...
graduations are quite bittersweet. like, you're happy that the graduates are done and will be moving on to greater things, but at the same time, you're sad that they won't be part of your college experience anymore. even if you aren't the closest of friends, they're there if you ever wanna talk, wanna play. and the seniors this year were some great people:

evelyn - my most valuable pearl. motivating, fun, and oh so understanding
johnim - you have touched a lot of people with your kindness, love, fun, diligence..
danny - fellow chem n.e.r.d. and simply a great friend to have
jamie yoon - one of the sweetest and funkiest girls to know, a strong woman, always smiling..
haejin - spaghetti and meat, deep conversations, fun conversations..
aaahhh just thinking about everyone and the memories we've shared is making me teary. sigh.

i know some of you guys are gonna be around berkeley or in the bay area.. but i tell ya, it's not the same!!!! WAAHHHHH

after the peis and mcb graduations (this world is turning into acronyms), i went over to ev's and sipped some merlot, zinfandel, and champagne with beta phis, some beta pis..
and watched head over heels. two words: ultimate cheese. however, there were some good bathroom scenes ;)
it's so funny cuz we were eating CHEESE and crackers while watching a CHEESY movie. hahaha how much better can it get?
haha but jenn seemed to like it :) what a ball of cheese. while she was googly eyed, i was laughing and criticizing the entire thing.. when did i become so cynical?

i headed over to susan's for some more partayying and found half of those kids buzzin like bees. imagine my shock! ooh some people gotta learn how to maintain and be better drunks! hahaha. i think a lotta promises were made last night.. will those promises be kept? we shall see.
but then people left and were supposed to come back and didnt and argh it was a bit of a mess. manners.
the night didn't end quite as well as i had hoped to but it's all good~

this morning i saw my ev graduate, said goodbye to thuyvi, and ate with a random group of people at the super! dc. man what a funny group of girls.
so i learned that most people (including me!) do not wash their hands properly after using the bathroom. did you know you're supposed to wash for the duration of the "happy birthday" song? approx 15 seconds. that's hella long man! isn't long exposure to water and soap bad for the skin? it strips away the natural moisture..
alsooo kathleen's episode with her cell phone in the bathroom. hahahaha. she was playing snake on her phone while doing her business and when she bent over to flush..
AAHHHH hahahahahahahaha that just made my day.

today i look forward to napping, cleaning my room, france plane tickets?, and a reunion with crown royal. muhahahaha

a toast to.. summer!!! (notice there's nothing in my hand - oooh i tricked ya'll drunk butts)
left to right: me, earl, paul, becky

* dashboard confessional - the best deceptions

2003-05-20T13:21:00.000-07:00

doe library, my 3rd home

a lotta people have been asking me where i've been, and i simply answer "library!"
sigh.. despite all the lost sleep and stress i don't think finals are going too well. sometimes i wonder why i chose berkeley.
by agreeing to be a student at Cal, it's like paying them to give you a bad GPA.
blargh
i'll be more of a nerd next time.

so i'm done with half of my finals. well, done with the harder half. tomorrow's french and friday's demography - hopefully not too bad?

well, i'd like to share with you one of my pet peeves:
people who go to the library only to talk to others and distract all the stressed ones around them. sometimes i admit i am in need of a chill pill, but i don't understand why people go all the way to the library to "study" aka laugh and talk for hours. if they are taking a break, why not go OUTSIDE?
gosh, it wouldn't hurt to be a little considerate of the <> people around.

woo hoo! i'm so glad i don't have to go to the library anymore :)

it's so absolutely beautiful today - once i'm done sulking about my failure maybe i'll go outside and bask in the sun. i love that word: bask
campus is so cheerful with all the grads and family walking around. makes me want to graduate NOW. hehe.
congrats all you lucky seniors (i'll miss you guys so much)
beaufied pledge mommy ev, danny, johnim, chris, derek, sol, allen,...

i dunno what i'm gonna do next year when all the juniors leave!!! i don't even want to think about it. waah...

* dashboard confessional - hands down

2003-05-17T01:16:00.000-07:00

who has my CDs??

i've been letting people borrow my CDs without keeping track of them.. and now i'm missing quite a few!
anyone have my CDs? esp. my oasis "(whats the story) morning glory"?

**disclaimer: this is a very long sad and angry rant so be ready to be sad and angry with me, but not at me. otherwise, have a nice day**

so this morning i took my bio 1a final... ya.
as i was walking towards haas pavillion in the sunshiney weather at 8am, i saw the F-line AC transit stopped in front of eshlemen hall. i thought of just jumping into that bus and going to s.f. and skipping my final. background music in my head: "walking away" by craig david
well, it was inevitable. once i entered the gymnasium-set-up-with-tables-and-chairs-for-classes-of-500+people, i knew i would be slaughtered and left to die a slow and painful death. and i was.

but it didn't make me cry. at 11:30am i called mommy for some reassurance and decided to wait til wednesday to find out how i really did...

never before has a final left me feeling so utterly helpless and dejected.
i vow that when i come back to Cal next spring, i am going to read and review lecture notes/textbooks/etc every single week so that come finals week i will be prepared!!

why am i having such a hard time trying to move on with my life...

since the best cure for depressed jenn after a final is sleep, that's just what i did. i slept until stephen called me to go to sophomore dinner together.
oh crap.
i quickly got ready and we headed to jupiter but found out that we are going to another place? wha? we ended up at a place called Yummy Curry by McDonalds. let's just say some of us regretted not getting the $1 chicken sandwich from McD :)

i was disappointed more in some other things than the food tho.
sure, the food and service were pretty bad, but giving the waitress a hard time and leaving before making sure you gave enough money for the bill, that's even more unacceptable.

the one thing i learned this semester is that true friends look out for one another; it should come naturally. if you slack off in carrying out your responsibilities, others (your friends and loved ones) will have to pick up your slack. you should NOT leave friends in such a situation, ESPECIALLY if you care about them.

also, actions speak louder than words.
as Korean, *Christian* Cal students, we should know what this means. any unforgiving attitude gives Koreans, Cal students, *CHRISTIANS* a bad rep. who are we to be unforgiving and hold grudges towards other people?
so many times have i heard others comment about how "Christian" or "non-Christian" someone is.
say a Christian girl is drunk at a party and is seen hooking up with random guys. others will say things like, "i thought she was a Christian" "doesn't she go to church?"

our waitress saw us pray before our meal and also saw our ingratitude and fussiness throughout the whole evening.
i bet she was glad we left. i bet she'd never want to serve us (or anyone who looked like us) ever again.
sure, people say you shouldn't care about what others think, but the truth is YOU SHOULD.
you are a representative of your race, school, sorority, religious group and you should conduct yourself appropriately.

i for one am going to try to be better at this :)

only when times get rough and unpleasant do you realize who your true friends are.

* busta rhymes, mariah carey - i know what you want

2003-05-15T11:21:00.000-07:00

never have i been so stressed out

all the signs of stress having been showing up:
-loss of appetite
-mood swings
-difficulty in going to sleep at night
-tummy doesn't feel good
-i was expecting my "you-know-what" but stress is delaying it

sigh...

* ultimate fakebook - soaked in cinnamon

2003-05-08T21:17:00.000-07:00

bay scallop roll

thank you menzies, my-lan, and jason for accompanying me to a wonderful dinner at alameda sushi house
the tricky bio lab exam and pms kicking in kinda put me in a funky mood, but all that fabulous sushi really cheered me up :)
they almost got a picture of me talking with my mouth full.. whew. i wouldnt want people to see me like that! haha.. yes. i may seem petite and cute on the outside, but on the inside, i'm actually a monster!! roar.

i'm kinder stressed about finals and tests and stuff, so i can't seem to express my thoughts coherently in words. thus i will leave u with more pictures:

* r.kelly - ignition (remix)

2003-05-06T15:17:00.000-07:00

YOU EAT PEOPLE!!!

what's YOUR deepest secret?
brought to you by Quizilla

uh.. how disturbing

* dashboard confessional - swiss army romance

2003-05-05T01:11:00.000-07:00

picture time!!

chillin at the beta phi table. what is amusing bor kae? i dunno... :)

happy beta phis [me, thuyvi, becky] with handmade photo albums and our house sweatshirts:

lets the presents roll in...:

big sis rosie and me:

doin a little daaance:

fun times.. beta phis with pledge mommy:

for more pictures check out: alpha SOPi website

2003-05-04T17:00:00.000-07:00

crown royal

is this girl's drink of choice. i actually wanted to drink champagne but i didnt get to :(

wow. WHAT a week it has been. had my last bio 1a lab (woo hoo!), date auction (full body massages from 5 girls for $75), last FiCB of the semester, PAPhi installs, FiCB senior banquet (which i could not attend.. sorry) and lab exam review on the same day as our alpha SOPi installs
and trying to be a good student at the same time..

since it would take forever sharing all the wonderful things that happened this past week, i will focus on yesterday cuz dammit, yesterday was GREAT :)
it kinda sucked that i had a lab exam review that took away some time from looking my best for the formals, but even with a last minute hair appointment cancellation, everything turned out fine.
i picked up corsage/boutinere(?) and a dozen roses, did my hair and makeup, got dressed, and packed up gifts and dance wear within 1.5 hours. i AM super jenn.

everything about formals was absolutely gorgeous. kristin did a magnificent job with putting everything together - location, decorations, program.. even down to the little details. who knew she had her own personal stresses in addition to stresses from formals. seeing such dedication really motivates me to give my all in everything i do.

i usually do not like taking pictures, but yesterday was an exception. we took pictures by the balloons, by the mirrors, by the fountain.. everywhere! with dates, with beta phis, with pledge mom and beta phis, with dates and beta phis, with zeta gammas and beta phis,... but i loved it!
i can't wait to get em developed.

and the whole night, i was ecstatic not only cuz i got a corsage (hee hee) but also because i had the best date and cuz my pledge sisters had great dates also. thuyvi was worried about being set up tonight with kristin's lil bro (becky's twin), but dude, the match couldn't have been more perfect ;)
ooh. and the presents

letters, letters, letters!! they are finally here!! i got 2 sweatshirts, a jacket, and a hoodie with letters. candles, pillows, frames, photo albums, wine glasses galore.. and a nalgene water bottle. hahaha. my big sis is so funny.

the beta phis were all kinder scared about the afterparty, but it wasnt as scary as i thought it'd be. some people were very pushy about drinking, but i'm glad they tried so hard to get me drunk. haha. i think i drank with everyone i wanted to drink with.. except for big sis cuz she had to drive. i was especially glad that my childhood friend eddie kim came to partay :)
i was maintaining the entire time at the beta tau + amy's apartment, but once i got to bor kae's it was "game over". woah there. and poor thuyvi and becky were gone long before i was..

beta phis need to learn how to maintain.

* duran duran - ordinary world

2003-04-28T11:05:00.000-07:00

weaksauce

some doors in campus buildings are hella hard to open.
for example, a set of glass doors in dwinelle that lead you to stairs that go down to level B, straight to the computing facility.
the glass doors in front of anderson auditorium in cheit hall (haas).

or maybe i'm just weaksauce.

2003-04-27T23:59:00.000-07:00

faaade

dude, we have so many halogen lamps in our apt (about 5?) and only 2 of them work now. mine just burnt out-

i hope everyone had a great weekend- cuz i sure did!
friday i went shopping for big sis's gift and at night was player's club in palo alto. thanks everyone for coming out!! it was lots of fun~ i didn't take advantage of the gambling tables, but i shure had fun dancing with the girls and with the boys ;) afterwards was sleepover @ cheri's and duude her house is amaazing. it's like an adventure when you're exploring around. also had a nice heart-to-heart with linna and amy~

saturday was sisterhood conference where i met most of my pledge sisters from the other chapters. meeting all the sopis from around the world really made me appreciate being part of sopi- lotsa talking and munching and making fun of big sis~ :) afterwards we tried to eat at pasta pomodoro but it was too crowded! so we went to hometown buffet. unlimited bbq man!! haha.. it's so weird how the night turned from p.pomodoro to hometown buffet. then it was off to present at kdphi installs in burlingame.
altho we got home late, the night was not yet over!! beautifys and 5/8 of our pledge bros from pi shady phi [just kidding!] chilled and did other stuff @ peter's. a lotta them girls and boys prolly won't remember that night well, but i sure will! one thing i learned: tampico is naasty! any juice that's 1% juice has got to be bad for you.

sunday i slept in and chillaxed until dinner when i prepared a fantaabulous meal for mr. floppy hair himself, bor kae. hahaha. he's so funny cuz whenever he dances he has this smily wide-eyed look and his hair flops to the beat. hahaha :) i made salad, "cheesy potato stuff", corn (from a can), rice, and garlic and herb marinated steak!

i need to practice my womanly skills if i wanna get married in the future.
i can't really cook or wrap gifts. it takes me a long time to iron clothes and clean. sometimes i feel like i have nothing to offer.. but i'm sure there's something!

* nivea - don't mess with my man

2003-04-25T20:24:00.000-07:00

telemarketers

they give me the opportunity to practice my improv skills.
usually, you'd have to say "hello?" twice before the telemarketer answers you. but lately, they reply after just one "hello," not giving me enough time to realize that it's one of them and that i should hang up.
this poses a problem because judy (my roomie) is quite popular with the telemarketers.

sometimes, they ask for judy immediately after introducing themselves, so i can just say that she's not here - just a white lie.
but other times, when they don't know who they're looking for, i try to sound as young as possible and tell them my parents aren't home. then, realizing that i'm a "minor," they quickly say "goodbye" and leave me in peace.
it's illegal for them to continue telemarketing when they know that the person they are speaking to is under 18 ya know.
but what's REALLY funny is when they assume i'm over 18 and blab blab blab. after finishing their shpeel, they finally ask for my info and i tell them i'm under 18. then they enter into kindof a shock because they can get in trouble for breaking the law! yes! they telemarketed to a minor!! baaaad.

so people shouldn't feel helpless when on the phone with a telemarketer. you hold so much power! :)

* nemo - another better day

2003-04-23T13:30:00.000-07:00

There is a prospect of a thrilling time ahead for you

said the fortune in a fortune cookie from the orchid

* justin timerlake - rock your body

2003-04-20T23:41:00.000-07:00

bread and wine

it's 4-20 on easter sunday. no way.

i love taking communion at church. it's just a very SOBERING reminder of why we are here and how thankful we should be of all the blessings we have in and after our lives. when you know that you make up a body of Christ and that someone shed their blood to pay for your sins, how can u not reflect on your life and try to find ways to make things better, make things more pleasing to Him?
dude. our actions and words are so powerful.. we should learn to use them carefully and wisely to glorify Him.

happy easter, everyone! let's not forget why this day is so special to all of us.

* louis armstrong & ella fitzgerald - let's call the whole thing off

2003-04-18T15:59:00.000-07:00

sparkly sparkly

i did something today i usually don't do. shower in the morning.
who wants to shower in the morning when you're grouchy from having to get up too early and its chilly anywhere that's not your bed?
and for people like me, who savor every last minute of sleep, there's never enough time in the morning to do all the things you want - sleep more, make yourself look nice, eat breakfast.. so why not shower at night??? it's way more practical.
well, having not showered at night, i was forced to shower in the morning.

yes, it was a little cold in the bathroom whose windows are never closed, but as i turned on the water, the droplets falling from the shower head were sparking from the reflection of the sun shining through the open window! ..i dunno what's gotten into me.. haha

i just wanted to share that awesome experience with everyone

but i can guarantee that i will prolly never shower in the morning again :)

* something corporate - punk rock princess

2003-04-16T19:11:00.000-07:00

fecal pellets

as if the cold weather and rain hadn't already dampened my mood, in bio lab today we dissected RATS that were freshly killed for our viewing pleasure... and dude.. intestines are the worst!! i didn't mind probing around the heart, lungs, and liver (my favorite part!) but when it was time to move the intestines around, you'd get a whiff of something that just makes you GAG! gross..

but one thing that is guaranteed to brighten up my day is some good food.. and i'm at the right place cuz berkeley's got hella good food man.

sunday, beta phis were given cake to celebrate the moment we crossed. and at night, omurice and ddukboki @ worldbeat. mmm
monday, i actually had time to prepare myself something so i made some healthy and yummy chicken salad - romaine lettuce, broccoli, seasoned chicken, and some homemade dressing.
tuesday, i decided to give naan n curry another try, and we had some tasty chicken tikki marsala curry .. haha there's a funny story behind that.. and also some kindof stir-fry lamb curry.
today! for lunch i got to chillax at home and enjoy some warm soup. and for dinner i got to eat with pledge sisses + jason at the super dc! and boy it was super! hahaha. there was CHEESECAKE and PEACH PIE a la mode! mmmmmmm.

i wonder if i would smell as bad as that rat if i were dissected. fecal pellets.. euww..

2003-04-11T10:15:00.000-07:00

i'm le petit teapot..

wondering how i'm doing?
in the past 6 days which equals 144 hours, i have gotten a total of 11 hours of sleep, about 12 hours of rigorous physical exercise, 2.5 hours of midterms, maybe 3 adequate meals, and the rest of the time was spent studying for one thing or another.

how do i do it?
big sis roseepi says i'm super woman! :)

* sade - by your side

2003-04-06T20:29:00.000-07:00

glass half empty or half full?

it is so easy to let yourself be dragged down by things around you. in life, you have choices, n'est ce pas?
whether you choose to enjoy and be thankful of what you are given or focus on what you don't have and how life is unfair to you.. that is up to you.

that is up to me.

dood. i don't know HOW i'm gonna get through the next week [2 midterms and i-week, oh my!] but i know i will - especially with my beautiful betaphis, a fantaastic roomie, and God.. although i've neglected Him time and time again, He is always there for me.

stay strong beta phis and zeta gammas.. it's almost over!

* 50 cent - in da club
the song of the night @ soomdoggydog's partay last night~

2003-04-04T23:56:00.000-08:00

water

when you neglect things, things die.

i forgot to give my little bamboo plant water for the loongest time, and just now i noticed that the parts of it are turning yellow.
temporary neglect (a week or so) is okay and the plant will still be fine and dandy.
but no water for over a month or so is BAAD. and if not taken care of immediately, there will be no more bamboo plant.

is that how it is with friendship?

* snoop dogg - beautiful

2003-03-30T23:14:00.000-08:00

75 degrees fahrenheit

so i came back to berkeley friday evening, with the intentions of getting stuff done since i wasn't getting anything done in so.cal
but, as predicted, nothing got done by me coming up early!! well, at least academically...
i watched korean dramas, movies (breakfast at tiffany's, spiderman, the exorcist), ate!, and just bummed around.
i blame it all on the closed libraries and crowded study lounges!! WHAT school would close libraries the weekend before school starts after spring break??? everyone got stuffs to do, man!

but other than that, it's been a lotta fun :)
i was glad to see a lotta people back from break, looking well rested and smiling~
what made me REALLY happy was waking up and going to church and not being cold. daly city is ALWAYS colder and windier than berkeley, but today it was quite nice; and driving back home in dank's car with the sun shining, windows down, and alternative rock blastin was .. woooonderful

i wish everyone *good luck* on starting school after such a long break! and here is something encouraging to think about if you are ever feeling down - God really loves us no matter what:

The Lord said to me, "Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another and is an adulteress. Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes" Hosea 3:1

* linkin park - somewhere i belong

2003-03-27T00:17:00.000-08:00

on the 5th day of spring break my mommy gave to me...

a blue suede handbag
a black button-up shirt
gray yoga pants
and a leather/silver bracelet~

omg i am getting sOO spoiled down here.. :]

hey yo! watch 13 conversations about one thing
it's an indie film, now available at blockbuster. roger ebert gave it 4 stars
but that is not why u should go see it..
MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY is in it :) that is why you should go see it
and also because the movie is particularly good at capturing raw human emotions (get your mind out of the gutter now) and you kindof see a little of yourself in the characters in the film. you see how you let things get in the way of your happiness, and how it's never too late to give yourself a second chance.
and i also took it to another level- i was reminded that you can't really acheive true happiness without God :)

* counting crows - big yellow taxi

2003-03-24T23:05:00.000-08:00

hoodies!! whee!!!

i FINALLY got to go shopping today avec ma mere, and i finally got a hoooodie!! i want all kinds of hoodies: velour, cotton, terry. in black, white, blue, pink, tan, gray..
hopefully i'll get to go shopping tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that..
and maybe get a pink satin handbag from amici accessories

after shopping, ma mere et moi, we ate dinner at red robin.. one of my favorite burger places! not only do they have a gazillion diff. gourmet burgers to choose from, but they give u fries *nonstop*. hence, the name "bottomless bucket of fries" hehehe
tomorrow i plan to eat either neng myun [cold korean noodles] or pho [warm vietnamese noodles] at some point of the day.

dood. so cal is SOO relaxed it's like impossible to stress out about anything~ and pms is over so i have no reason to be a sullen girl :)
and with a terrific mom, who can complain?? she is SOOO quirky.. i lover it. i can act quirky around her w/o getting weird looks.. its grreat!

today we were working out via a pilates video tape. she kept getting confused by the footwork and she was trying reeal hard, but a while later when i looked at her she was sitting down, bewildered by the ppl on tv- ehehehe. then she disappeared and i found her napping in bed!! ahahaha

::happy sigh:: good times..

happy birthday janice!!

* brian mcknight - back at one

2003-03-19T01:31:00.000-08:00

random thought:

korean music makes me feel left out. i'm left out of the whole "korean circle" of life because:
1. i no longer live in korea
2. i have nooo idea what is going on in korean news and pop culture
3. i have no time to spend with my korean friends who have developed a special bond because they are fobby together - yes, they have exclusive saturday night korean drama get-togethers!!

sigh...

2003-03-19T01:23:00.000-08:00

happy (belated) birthday kevin cho + emily ohno

spring break (also known as spring not-so-really-break) is so close i can almost taaste it. mmmm

i plan on bringing ALLL my books and notebooks and studying alll day long - in my room, on the patio, on the beach.. this is what berkeley does to u man!
but i'm so glad i can finally take a breath of relief [ah!] for at least a little bit.

if you've seen me recently (which is probably unlikely becuz i'm avoiding the whole world.. ahem.. sopi.. ahem) i've been constantly tired, cold, and not really smiling.
but yesterday, seeing so many sophomores getting together to commemorate kevin's 21st birthday was sooo great. these girls and boys are always there for each other and seeing that really made me happy :) dude, we got kevin the cooolest gift. we got him a 256mb mp3 player that weighs about 1.5 paperclips!!! don't u wish we were YOUR friends? haha

sooo many march birthdays man..
big sis rosie's birthday is coming up!! whee big sis is getting.. bigger!! hahah. i finally got to see her today (after a week of absenteeism) and she looked so tan and healthy :) so sexy~ raaaar

thanks to all my friends who have taken the time to show that you care-
thinking of u guys makes me smile :)

there are just too many things to be thankful for..

* g.o.d. - gil (road)

2003-03-14T02:38:00.000-08:00

before i pass out, i just wanted to tell the WHOLE ENTIRE world how MEAN SOL is.
i went over to borrow a tie, and right when i enter he abuses me :(
he pinched me like 5 times, did that ouchie hand slap thing repeatedly, and stepped on my foot with his humongous weight..
he's like the bully in 1st grade!!! that meanie

and what's worse! he calls me his toy!!! how sick and twisted is that?

boLbim33 (2:36:57 AM): toys usually love their master

* pointer sisters - we are family
sadly enough, this song is stuck in my head. (rolling eyes)

2003-03-10T23:53:00.000-08:00

jish03 (11:55:10 PM): i know you can do it
jish03 (11:55:13 PM): cuz you are a trooper

i am! i am!!!!!!

ERRz83 (12:10:39 AM): hahaha yeah you haven't!...shoot you don't know how your pledge bros get dizzown

hahahaha crazy pledge bros man!!
which reminds me...

DIVINE partay!
@ club diesel in s.f. - 18 to celebrate; 21+ to intoxicate
lemme kno if u wanna gooooo

* radiohead - no surprises

2003-03-09T23:03:00.000-08:00

super jenn

after a super ultra academically productive saturday and sunday, i feel like i havent really had a weekend.
but this hermit-like behavior might actually be good for me cuz i'm starting to believe in myself again..

in the past 2 days, i have done more work than i did the past week!!
quelle etudiante!!! :)

ok besides me developing a closer relationship with my econ 175 reader, i have nothing interesting to say~

but before i go, a big good luck to:
judy on her 2 midterms and potched version of chicago
janet with completing her last week of spanish hell!
becky with her swollen mouth. poor beautify~
carolina with her sleep (or lack of)
newbies on their softball game tonite
sophomores on our potch skit - sorry can't be there guys..

let's kick this week's butt!! hiya!!

* j.lo feat. ll cool j - all i have

2003-03-06T10:32:00.000-08:00

i love you

i've been really good about going to classes lately (after being shocked by my midterm results), but i am missing econ 100b right now cuz olney yelled at every single person who came in late on tues.. which includes me.

thank God for black lightning notes!

* ben folds five - brick
uh... ya. u know what i'm talking about beautifys! ::wink wink::

2003-03-03T16:59:00.000-08:00

i hate mondays!!!!

how many more mondays must i endure??
AAAHHHHHHHHHH

the day started out pretty good- actually, it started out FANTASTIC. after a very relaxing and fun weekend, i was ready to be nerdy jenn again and try to enjoy studying without the pressure of midterms.

friday i got to chill with my pledge sisters @ siblinghood with the paphis, and then there was skit practice with the fic sophomores - i ended up passing out at jung's while susan and jung were chatting away (sorry girls!) and i slept with jung!!! yayyy :)

saturday after waking from a peaceful (and slightly uncomfortable) slumber, i went running with erin and erinna and ran 2 miles! haha that was big feat for me cuz i haven't run in ages.. i can't believe i used to do cross-country.
i kicked it with the big sis, went to dinner with judy and martin and had chicken mole burrito and green tea ice cream,
watched sweet home alabama with erinna and erin [it turned out to be a pretty good movie!],
celebrated my-lan's 20th birthday with yogurt park and aladdin [our ideal way to spend the night],
visited the etna house boys..

sunday i woke up in time for church (except half of our congregation was missing!! lazy butts), took a loong 4-hr nap (yum), tried to study at various places and inevitably failed at doing so.

at bio lecture this morning i was ecstatic to find that our new professor is a great lecturer- hopefully this means better grades?
and there were some pleasant surprises during the course of the day:

*running into sophie who used her sexy conniving ways to make me PLEDGE FOR CALPIRG. argh! :)
*and while i was "taking care of business" in the upstairs dwinelle bathrooms, i read a secret message someone left for me. it said, "you are beautiful! don't let anyone make u think otherwise."

here's where the contrast kicks in-
*i'm generally very happy at work and i looove my coworkers. well, most of them. but the one person who bothers me a lot bothered me even more today and i just wanted to blurt out very mean nasty words to him (sans profanity, of course) but i stopped and counted to 10 instead. he is SO MEAN! argh. he decides to make my life miserable because he is unhappy with his.
*i got my bio midterm back. and all u jerks who always tease me about being the biggest nerd and always doing well. well, i DIDNT DO WELL so take that.(sob)

go away

* anysong thats loud and angry and makes me cry

2003-02-27T19:52:00.000-08:00

eating chocolate is like giving yourself a big hug

that was the message written on the tin wrapper of a Dove Milk Promises chocolate.
i better eat lotsa chocolate cuz i'm in need of lotsa hugs!!

this week has been quite the crazy one- lotsa good busyness, but even more bad busyness
yet i seem to only remember the good busyness~
make way for optimistic jenn!! weeeeee

all i can remember is chillin with the beta phis (beautifys) kekeke
shopping with the big sis [we both got t-shirts that has a picture of a pig saying "don't eat me i love you"] too bad we're both crazy carnivores!! roaar
randomly attending an IM softball game and cheering on "newbies" and "telebears" in the freezing cold!
lunch with haejin @ espresso experience - bulgogi sandwich! yummm
baking banana cream pie for the sopi sisters
and lotsa studying...

bio midterm tomorrow. ARGH

i had a potentially full of crap day, but i tried to focus on the more pleasant aspects of my life such as:
seeing a little girl with pigtails trying to keep pace with her mom
running into friends and being greeted with a BIG genuine smile
yay :D
i won't let you negative things rain on my parade!!

before the sugar high dies out, i wanna share with you...
reasons why i looooove my roomie:
1. whenever i am acting silly she acts silly with me so that i don't feel silly by myself
2. she can make better funny voices than i do
3. she magically replaces the TP dispenser roll before TP runs out! (i notice!)
4. her opinion means a lot to me:
*yesterday she playfully said, "jenn your room is messy!!" but after she said that i was motivated to clean my room. now it's clean and fit to live in! i lover it!
*i came home at around 2:30pm today and was planning on skipping econ175 lecture. but she was home and she told me to go, so we walked to our respective classes together and i ended up really enjoying lecture
5. her nickname is BOOTY!!

yay i have been nominated for the france language and culture program!!!!!!

* frank sinatra - i won't dance

2003-02-22T17:13:00.000-08:00

sunshine and a light breeze

are the weather conditions right now in berkeley.
i spent the morning moving out mommy's stuff and chillin with her at 4th street in berkeley. we couldn't have picked a better day for an excursion there~
we walked around, checked out artists at work at the art gym, looked around crate and barrel outlet, jest jewels jewelry store, numerous arts and crafts stores, and bookstores..
doesn't it sound funn :)

for lunch i got a chicken and mole enchilada and my mom got some gnarly lemony chicken salad at the pasta market
they were selling 3 yr old cheeses and handmade bread there.
i hope france is like that. i'd eat SOOO well there

then the p.sis's and p.bros met up at la loma (FRIGGIN FAR) and planned out our skit for "siblinghood." dang i am participating in two skits right now - one for potch for FiC, and the other for the SOPis. keke i'm so important.
for the FiC one, i think i'm gonna be the daughter..
for the SOPi one, i'm gonna be the big evil boss. puhahahaha :D

* stevie b - when i dream about you
thanks p.bros!

2003-02-21T22:04:00.000-08:00

pier 41

is my new favorite hangout place. too bad its in friggin s.f. fisherman's wharf and it's far away~

mommy woke me up at 7:30am so that i wouldn't miss my 8am class. so i have been awake for a total of 14 hours already.. dENg.. sooo tired!
met mommy for coffee at cafe milano at 9am, and had the BEST cafe latte ever. EVER!
and after ending french class at noon, we went to SF to *chill*. we went shopping at the usual places- but didn't buy as much as i wanted to. hahaha SO SPOILED :) nono i'm not. really.

and thenn we proceded to go to one of the most wonderful places i've known - fisherman's wharf.
i LOVE the embarcadero. i LOVE the breeze and the lights and the bay.. the view of coit's tower, of the bay bridge, of the golden gate bridge, of campanile.. ahh.
we ate at one of my most favorite restaurants - bubba gump restaurant
i had the daily special: 4oz mahi mahi and some shrimp slathered in buttery something sauce on top of jasmine rice (taste buds are reminiscing)
and my mommy got dumb luck coconut shrimp.
for drinks i got strawberry lemonade (made fresh and with chunks of real strawberry!) and mommy got some kindof margarita.
afterwards, we took a stroll down pier 41 - got to see some seals perform a very discordant song for us, and just sat amidst the sea breeze.

and being the good navigator i am, we never got lost, and we found great parking. woo hooo

and tomorrow i get to go to 4th street in berkeley and possibly eat at bette's diner and go to my favorite jewelry store!

days like these, life is great :)

* u2 - with or without you

2003-02-20T23:17:00.000-08:00

ferraro rocher

i just got back from a short night out with big sis rosie~ we ended the night with mondo gelato (a perfect ending to an incredibly long day).

mommy is here for the week mon-sat. it's kindof difficult living under her scrutiny.. it's so unlike my berkeley lifestyle to be living under scrutiny. at agoura, i understand having to live with her rules, etc. but not in berkeley!
for the past 2 days we've had ppl over for dinner - raandom groups of ppl. it stressed me out a lot for some reason. the fact that she's doing so much work for nothing at all. it makes me feel really weird, real burdensome. maybe this discomfort in depending on ppl is a sign that i am growing up? ...grreat.

i have lotsa stuff i'm thinking about, but i can't quite express all of them in blogger words, so i will end my very late entry here.
just know that if you're reading this and i haven't really seen you today (or yesterday, or the day before), i miss you!

* hoobastank - better

2003-02-10T19:18:00.000-08:00

just like this color

i feel like ddong.
cabby the fish has officially passed away 1.5 days after put into my care.
i have almost cried two times in the past 24 hours.

i bet i'm just very emotional right now - not only cuz of recent events but also cuz of hormonal imbalance.
i wish i could just pop a pill and make it better.. i can't focus with all this noise inside my head.
i hate being weak.

* tori amos - i don't like mondays
you can say that again...

2003-02-08T13:10:00.000-08:00

il y etait longtemps..

probably because i have found other things, better things, to occupy my time and thoughts..
this semester, i have found:

- friends: friends who, although not always physically there, are always spiritually and emotionally there.

- peace: in who i am and where i am; knowing what kind of person i want to be, and where i want to go. i didn't have this last year..

i still have yet to find myself through all this
sorry for this very vague and somber entry.. it's prolly due to lack of sleep and PMS ;)

* ben folds five - evaporated

2003-01-01T14:46:00.000-08:00

happy new year!!

i really see the new year as a fresh new start, being able to start on a clean slate. but can't u start over any day u choose? i dunno

well these last few days have been quite- random. hanging out with ppl i don't usually hang out with.
for audris' birthday on the 30th, two car-fulls of a-town people went to arcadia to a dumpling house and then went to see chicago in pasadena. we also got gelato at pasadena, but nothing beats mondo gelato in berkeley!

lemme tell you, chicago is a GREAT movie. i felt like i was watching the performance live in a theater. the acting, dancing, and singing were great. flawless. and the story was fun and entertaining.
and for guys who get dragged to see this movie by their girlfriends, lighten up cuz u get to see a very seductive catherine zeta-jones and a very cute renee zellweger :)
hehe it was so funny watching it with priestly-2nd-floor-doug. i just randomly called him up cuz i knew he lived in arcadia, and he joined us for the movie~

yesterday, my mom and i went to play at the getty center. it is so great there. i don't particularly like the medieval european pieces- practically all of them are a "madonna and child" or "crucifixion" or something related to the bible. and i don't feel comfortable looking at those pieces because they're wayy too showy and ostentatious with its large size, bright colors, gold frame.
i loooved the south wing exhibits, especially the french rococco furniture and paintings.
the porcelein china, mantelpiece clocks, beautiful arm chairs were absolutely amazing~

from all the paintings i liked, the only ones i can remember now are:
jean-etienne liotard's "marie frederik...something" - he made the subject seem real, her soft round cheeks, soft hair, soft velvet robe, her curious puppy...
and a painting of venus and ares (god of war?) - where a usually belligerent ares looks lovingly at a sleeping venus. i saw it as a symbol of the power of love.

from this year's new years eve celebration, i realized what my ideal new years eve celebration would be:
sitting at home [or a friend's home] in comfy clothes, watching good movies, sipping on apple cider or champaign, sitting by the fireplace, laughing the night away with friends :)
doesn't it sound great?

last night, i chilled with some a-town people.. ericfrance [who i haven't seen in a year!], woodykim [who i keep running into], charleslee, jefflouie, andyhuang, and some other random people.
i also got to see part of a sex and the city marathon! woohoo..
poor mommy got called out to work at 9pm and came home at 5am and went out again at 9am.

ok, i must start on my study abroad app [which is due jan. 6th]

as andyhuang would say, have a merry new years!

* chicago soundtrack - cell block tango

2002-12-29T17:59:00.000-08:00

laziness

i have free hbo!!! i don't know how long it's gonna last..
but i have free hbo!!!
so far i've watched miss congeniality, parts of moulin rouge, and parts of legend of bagger vance

if u feel like being lazy, come on over and vege out with me on the couch!! woohoo

my kitty snores when she sleeps. she's louder than me and my mom :]
such the cutie

* tupac - thugz mansion

2002-12-28T20:47:00.000-08:00

standing out of the crowd

so everyone in agoura looks alike. all super-thin caucasians with highlighted hair, sparkly
abercrombie shirts..
no wonder i didn't fit in. no wonder i still don't fit in

but hanging out with the few ppl i click with here..
there are such fond memories of ditching and dreaming of somewhere outside this bubble.
and we made it outside!!! so yay for us~

today michelleoh woke me up at the buttcrack of dawn (9:30am) to go to 3rd street
promenade, and we did LOTsa catching up. i'm still recovering from all the stories and
adventures i was told of..
and still recovering from the surprise i ran into at the promenade..

and we went to visit emilyohno at "something's fishy" - a restaurant where she works.
aaahh it was soo incredibly nice and reassuring to see that my good old friends haven't
changed much. still laid back, silly sense of humor, and staying real. gotta love em.

* avril lavigne - things i'll never say

2002-12-24T16:32:00.000-08:00

who has my vons club card?

at the checkout aisle of vons at midnight, i searched through my wallet for my vons club card and ::gasp:: it wasn't there!
i think i let someone borrow it.. if u have it, you suck!! cuz now i gotta cancel my old membership and start a new one. BOOO

yesterday night i did some last minute shopping for mommy's gifts.. and i almost forgot how it felt to go shopping solo.
it was faabulous!! its so great browsing at your own pace and having time to soak it all in :)

afterwards i met up with some a-hill gangstas (puhaha) and got to talk and laugh and get carried...
dude, i hadn't seen dangruver in like 1.5 years- that was trippy.

hopefully lotsa random ppl will show up at kris' shin-dig friday night..

anyone wanna go to moca/lacma [art museums in l.a.] with me?

* b2k ft. pdiddy - bom bom bom

2002-12-23T15:13:00.000-08:00

time of my life

can you feel the blessings rolling in?? i can :)
seriously, after that dreaded stat final [which was deng hard] things have been going very well.

home #2 is almost all packed for moving-
had a verry relaxing time with fobbykevin my last day at berkeley [mmmm banana ice cream with reeses mix-in]

at home #1, sleeping LOTS, a lotta chillen and relaxin with agoura friends :)

after like 2 days i started to miss my cal friends and started calling almost everyone ~ i absolutely love the friends i've made there. they were constantly there through many fun times and even stressful times.
but i got to see a lot of em yesterday- yayyy

yesteryday's partaay at janices was sooo fun
a biig thank you to janice and her mommy and daddy for opening up their house.

karoke and bowling @ midnight was much fun. carolina the kpop-star totally stole the show! :)
but anywhere doing anything with friends is fun for me.. aaahhh i can't wait to see them again

* santana ft. michelle branch - game of love

2002-12-18T21:57:00.000-08:00

elena has officially passed out on my love seat~
aww she's so cute i wish i had a digi cam to take a pic of her and show everyone how cute she is.

cant wait to parttaaayyy after tomorrow..

* eve - satisfaction

2002-12-18T14:55:00.000-08:00

spaghetti with meat
was on our menu chez haejin last nite.

so there i was in the library studying stat alone [cuz my friends decided to leave me :P], and i was super productive from 6-11pm straight.
i wasn't feeling too good.. feeling annoyed.. feeling pressure..
and decided to go home.

but alas, no one to walk with.

i say, "oh well, it's not too bad outside." but kristy and haejin cry out, "you're not walking home alone!! wait for us. we'll leave in 45 minutes."
i know better than refuse their offer.. so i wait.

and i end up going to haejin's and staying up til 5am talking [and a little studying]

it's so amazing cuz~
just when i was at the brink of losing hope in ppl... God blesses me with the company of two wonderful unnis.

honestly, this whole FiCB thing has been disenchanting me a lot lately. i love FiCB because i'm surrounded by ppl who share God's love, great friends, and a great class [2005!!] but.. something i lacked and wanted mostly was someone to look up to.

u upperclassmen might not know this, but we younger ones really do look up to you.

this college thing has been quite the rollercoaster ride for me, and i really wanted an older person who'll give me advice and who i can confide in. someone who i can look up to and say, "i really want to be like him/her when i'm older." someone who makes me feel comfortable enough to be myself.
but lately, the older ones in FiC just seemed too busy and inaccesible.

ya .. i know they're busy, but.. i'll just not go there.

so while i was feeling like this, kristy and haej reach out to me.. invite me to their place [the offer alone made me happy], and for some reason, i felt sooo comfortable with them. and we had a GREAT time.. aahh :)
hehehe kristy's "fingers" waving and haej's squeal and kristy's shrinkwrapped book and talking about serious/not-so-serious topics..
did i mention i had a GREAT time?

and, of course, guys were the topic of conversation at one point. but it wasnt like, "if you were stranded on a deserted island and had a choose one guy to be with, who'd you choose?"
it was like, "who are the great guys of every class.." those who are admirable and those who we just like. period.

the persons mentioned were:
freshmen: john, fred
sophomores: kevin, kyu
juniors: alex, kwansoo, roy, slum, eric, carroll, andychon, rob
seniors: kenneth, dan lee

i won't mention who mentioned who ;)
but i'll say that alex was mentioned by all of us. hahaha. but serious, girls, get some raid and catch roach while you can! [i kno, baaad joke. sorry]

* avril lavigne - i'm with you

2002-12-17T23:29:00.000-08:00

yuck. i've been getting hives nightly.
maybe i'm developing an allergic reaction to the library.

maybe it's time for nyquil?

* oasis - don't look back in anger

2002-12-17T14:43:00.000-08:00

i've got sunshine...

just got back from a fantaaaabulous breakfast/shopping date with my one and only my-lan.
only my-lan would wake me up at the butt crack of dawn [9am] to hang out. :) gotta love her~
[did i mention she's a world famous gymnast?]

we went down to 4th street in berkeley.. it's an entirely different world out there!
i think it's called the artisan district
cuz there's a buncha crafty stores and its waayy cool.

new favorite place to eat: bette's diner
you might've heard of this place cuz it's been mentioned in many places. noted for its fantastic food and service.

new favorite jewelry place: just jewels
not that i ever had a fav. jewelry place before, but this place is awwesome!! i would buy the entire store, but yikes.. its a bit pricey.

deng.. ppl mustve been bored yesterday cuz i got almost 50 visits here. ya i kno i kno, its not 100+ like super andychon or nancy but i can't compare myself to them.. they're in a whole different [blog] league. kekekeke.

p.s. all the furniture i put up for sale has been claimed already.. u kno what they say, u snooze u lose!! :)

* temptations - my girl

2002-12-16T10:23:00.000-08:00

one more to go

finals have been going [surprisingly] well.
i've been suffering ..not sleeping enough, not eating well, enduring the suffocating atmosphere of the library for 5+ hours a day, and my rapidly vanishing social life.. but i must say,
if i do well on my finals, its allll worth it.

i honestly thought the ochem final would beat me to the ground, but it turns out ellman used some stuff from past midterms [which i went over].
and i got my quiz back today.. i was 99% certain that i failed that thing, but i didnt :)

..i think someone out there likes me

some words of encouragement to all those who are not yet done with finals:
nafnaf00 (10:14:39 AM): you're almost there man...just hang in there k?
nafnaf00 (10:14:45 AM): you'll do great

* unwritten law - cailin

2002-12-15T02:29:00.000-08:00

happy birthday, kyu (12-13) and esther (12-15)!!

things i did friday instead of studying for ochem:
-music shopping (1 hr)
-music downloading (2 hrs)
-chatting (1.5 hrs)
-nap (3 hrs)
-karaoke and drinks for kyu's 20th birthday (5 hrs)

i didnt get ANY studying done, but i shure had myself a good time!
and now i suffer.

after waking up at noon it was non-stop productivity. but i let myself have a little break.
tonite the sophs and p.eugene had dinner at eunice's.
eunice and sun spent all day cooking yummy traditional korean food: ddak jjim, ttang soo yook, go dung uh (fish), dduk bbok gee, bbul go gi, mahn doo... to name a few.
by the time i finished one plate i was soooo incredibly satisfied. my tummy was thanking me :)

then afterwards the kids were gonna play but i had to break the party and go back to home #3 [library]. poooo

dang i am under so much pressure right now. deadlines left and right.
soooo it looks like i'm moving in with judy.
where will i find the time to pack all my stuff and take care of all the contracts i must break?

* n.e.r.d. - run to the sun

2002-12-13T12:25:00.000-08:00

there is no day and night during finals week

since all one does is study and take finals (and sometimes sleep and eat), there is really not that much difference between.. lets say 4AM and 4PM.
the only real important times that do matter are at either 8-11AM, 12:30-3:30 PM, or 5-8PM.
yup. those are times that determine whether you get an A or B, B or C...

ooohh how suspenseful.

to celebrate the completing of half of my finals, i went over to rasputin and blew some cash on 2 CDs and 2 DVDs.

erin's weakness is for a $40 eyelash curler
janet's weakness is for fooood
and i've finally discovered my weakness for music

today i surrendered to:
oasis (what's the story) morning glory?
radiohead OK computer
and the wedding singer and as good as it gets dvds

and i dont even have a dvd player. puhahaha

* simon and garfunkel - sound of silence

2002-12-11T01:30:00.000-08:00

every flower has to go through some dirt
too bad janet's an insect.

i have a confession to make. sometimes i wanna blog SOO bad. all i wanna do is blog and let it all out and then see what ppl have to say about it. but when i notice that i blog *too* much.. like almost every day.. i restrain myself, thinking to myself, "i have a life! if i blog everyday it'll seem like i don't have a life!"
so i didn't blog on sunday or on monday or on tuesday but now i wanna blog about so many things but there's no time!! but i'm doing it anyway.

i'm sorry dear blog readers, never again will i hold back on you.

i've been having a blast for the past several days. instead of studying like i should, i've been a social butterfly [flutter flutter]
playing hostess, chatting and going out to "study" at denny's [which will never ever happen again], talking on the phone for hours, eating dc food, having a spontaneous sleepover avec janet, and meat partay!!!! [tell me, what comes before part b?]

didja know denny's plays perty good background music?
most of the time i was just sitting there staring out into space listening to the music. the rest of the time i was busy spying on a big group sitting next to us.. a group of about 15 ppl? it was a rock band!!! they were all wearing black and all had dyed dark hair and i was trying realll hard to see if i knew what band they were. a part of me really really wanted to go ask them or ask the waitress who they were, but i controlled myself. haha susan and i are such groupies :P

didja know janet is the absolute kewlest/weirdest/most psycho person in the entire world??
i shure didnt. that girl makes me laugh soooo hard.. everything she does is soooo silly in a rude and disgusting way. hahaha no inhibitions :) i like that.
i'm also very very jealous of all her cute socks.. gray with santa/x-mas tree/present patterned socks yesterday, and pink with sparkly silver striped socks today!!!
aww janet i like u so much i would drag you in a sleeping bag from my living room into my room. would u do that for me?

didja know jason and helene are the cutest couple ever?
they seem so different yet i see the chemistry working man.. [flutter flutter]
sigghh it makes me so happy to see my frenz happy. their faces all lit up :) a lotta frenz are happily coupled right now.. it kinda makes me wonder, "what's wrong with me? why am i not coupled?" but then i get so happy cuz other ppl's happiness oozes out enough to fill my own happiness. hmm i wonder if that's it's healthy to live through others...

wow it's so hard to focus on pricing with market power,monopolistic competition, and oligopoly when so many things are going through my head..
i sense that something VERY good is going to happen VERY soon. just pray for me.. please..

i go now.. dreaming of eggnogg and flight back home on dec. 20th 7:05 AM

* jay-z feat. beyonce - '03 bonnie and clyde (me and my girlfriend)
she'd do anything necessary for him. and i'd do anything necessary for her. so don't let the necessary occur. YUP!

2002-12-07T15:42:00.000-08:00

i am so humbled

prayer is so great. it is such a privilege to be able to pray freely without the fear of persecution. because without prayer, there'd be no way to communicate with God. and without communication with God, how could we come to depend on Him?

how great is it that we have this unchanging, embracing, providing, and alllways faithful God? if only everyone knew how great it is to have one like Him.

the prayer meeting really helped me realize how lucky i am. how lucky i am to have that eternal hope and eternal joy [despite all the crappy things of this world that bring me down]
how lucky i am to have a wonderful and supportive and fun mother/best friend.
how lucky i am to have such loving and encouraging friends who are [almost always] there for me. :)

even tho i kno these kids don't read my blog, [except for janet]
thanks janet for just - everything. u don't know how much easier u have made this year for me. who woulda known we could become such good friends!
thanks erin for being able to see through me and always wanting to share in my joy/sorrow.
thanks susan for your thoughtfulness. sometimes i dunno if your little acts of kindness are intentional.. but they're great anyway! and dangg.. i admire your understanding and patience with all the little annoyances in this world.
thanks robin dowdsy for big hugs and accepting me [and everyone] just for who i am. josh is one lucky guy!
thanks kristoff for always smiling and laughing at my jokes [even if i'm not that funny] and letting me in on your crazy life~

ok.. this is gonna get outta control. i'm gonna stop it here

* jurassic 5 - without a doubt

2002-12-06T14:15:00.000-08:00

yawwnn..

i intended to start my day today at 8am. go to yoga class, meet with music 20a ppl for practice, hunt down my manager, do some hw stuff for chem and turn it into office hours... then class at 1pm.

but instead i woke up at 7am to my alarm, then went right back to sleep. then woke up at noon.. then class at 1pm.

last day of school today.. no more of this "i was gonna wake up early..." crap :)

* aimee mann - wise up

2002-12-05T11:23:00.000-08:00

i've forgotten how much i hate allnighters...

i didn't mean to pull an allnighter last nite, it just happened.
so for the last 25 hours i have slept 2 hrs
for the last 52 hours i have slept 10 hrs
for the last 75 hours i have slept 16 hrs

i guess i dont have it as bad as other ppl...

* weezer - smile

2002-12-03T21:45:00.000-08:00

if i'm ever a little down...

get me either a plain coffee [with a little nonfat milk and 1 packet of sugar]
or a little kid to play with :)

i went to stockton today for a festival and loved it for the same reason i loved home.
i love being surrounded by families- i need to be surrounded by families. it reminds me of who i am/where i'm from and gives me that sense of belonging.

i love kids who are curious and respectful and fun.
this world is full of cute kids. cute kids who love when u give them attention, cute kids who just look up at you and beam a huuuge smile...

* pink - family portrait
there's a cute kid in this music video

2002-12-02T21:00:00.000-08:00

a la libraire avec esther, eric, et alex le "roach"

also on a caffeine high and also on eric's wireless internet
this has got to be the coooolest thing ever!!

iamsocool iamsocool iamsocool iamsohyper

* christina aguilera - beautiful

2002-12-02T12:06:00.000-08:00

i'm back

thanksgiving break was so incredibly relaxing. being with family (my mom and cat) has truly rejuvenated me, so i can go back to being studious jenn again~

all i did at home was sleep (almost 12 hrs everyday) and shop and eat. i'm surprised momm didn't scold me for being a lazy butt.. she mustve seen that i was tres fatiguee.

it was really nice seeing all the streets and stores decorated in christmas (and chaunukah) lights and ornaments..
nothing gets u more in the christmas mood than walking through crate and barrel :)
but it kinda makes me mad that christmas has been so commercialized.. [watch miracle on 34th street]

* radiohead - karma police

2002-11-26T18:42:00.000-08:00

i'm going hoooome

neener neener neeeeeeeener!!!
hahaha u kids who are gonna be stuck in 10+ hrs of traffic going down the I-5 tomorrow..
suckaz!

hahaha i think i rubbed it in your faces enough :)

wow. why is it that everyone in bezerkeley is itchin to go back home?? don't we like berkeley?
("not i" said the fly.. named jenn) ..i kno..doesn't make sense

i think i'll start liking this place next semester. i just need a looong break from 94704 and a fresh new start.
new classes, new profs.. those will definitely make things better.
seriously, this semester has been very lackluster academically. no truly great professors and no truly great GSI's.
they're just all okay..

but man do i miss prof. jean frechet's french accent (remember "electrons! ze zame zide!"), how catherine [chem 3a TA] didn't only just talk to guys in the lab and how she would be really connected to the class.

i miss dr. leon litwak [history 7b] and his activism and passion in teaching. i miss jennifer jung hee choi [history 7b gsi] and how she'd encourage us when we needed encouraging, and how she'd scold us when we were being lazy.

i miss animated antonia syson's english accent and how she laughed out loud. i miss how she'd notice if something was wrong (because our class was small) and how she'd give us some leeway when we needed it.

all these professors really wanted the students to do well. and trust me, that's hard to find in berkeley.

now i am stuck with ellman [i may not like him too much right now cuz chem doesn't feel like chem these days. just a buncha memorizing] and hilary peltier. lemme tell u about ms. peltier. i think she'd make a cool friend to talk to and hang out with, but as a gsi.. i just don't know. she just does the bare minimum- show up at lab, show up at office hours. and i get a vibe from her that says "i would rather be elsewhere"

and my econ 100a prof. bhandari. he's got to be the laziest teacher(?!) i've ever had. i think he no longer does the powerpoint presentations the textbook company sends him, but dude.. he'd stare at his little laptop in the dark for 1.5 hrs while half of the ppl who show up to class leaves and the other half fall asleep. does he even CARE about this class??? and he said students should spend about 10hrs/week studying for his class.. well i didn't and i did swell on the midterm! so HA!
the gsi for the class, ryan ratcliff, tries to highlight the things he thinks is important for the hour he has us twice a week, and it is very well appreciated. but when your gsi is only on campus from 8am - 4pm on tues and thurs, and can't even hold office hours, and can't answer your questions over email.. it is very frustrating.

and cynical mari arko klemenc [music 20a]. we TRY, meaning our class, but she is never satisfied. never an encouraging word and never any leeway. i guess she doesn't think we're good kids?? i also get a vibe from her that says "i'd rather be elsewhere."

well, u know what. i, myself, would rather be elsewhere instead of in your stankin classes!
there is absolutely no motivation to go to these classes..

wow. i didn't even intend to write about all this. this blog has a mind of its own!!

but non-academically, college has been *hella* fun. i seriously don't feel like a student.
this weekend's highlights were carolina's birthday brunch, big game victory! who's got the axe now?!, preparing and partaking in a delicious thanksgiving dinner with a couple small groups.. and hours and hours of just chillen and relaxin with friends.

and yesterday i worked the concession stands at the 49ers game. ohhhh yes... i learned to serve beer. and what was this for? FiCB's winter retreat fundraiser!! haha.. how ironic.
that was quite the experience. it was madness from 5pm to 9pm. straight. it was funny cuz once the beer was gone there were nooo lines! hahaha.
props to all 30 of us who worked it! super duper props to sammy for organizing the whole entire darn thing for FiCB and for delta sig. FiCB made over $25,000 babyy.

i was quite the sad sight yesterday - sore arms from mashing potatoes, aching legs from standing all day.
but i have no complaints. i had a great time :)

ok kids, time to get away from berkeley~

* red hot chili peppers - the zephyr song

2002-11-22T23:57:00.000-08:00

household appliances without electricity

let's not be like that. ok? (see john 15:1-5)

i'm forgiven, because You were forsaken
i'm accepted, You were condemned.
i'm alive and well, Your spirit is within me.
because You died and rose again..

amazing love, how can it be?
that you my King would die for me.
amazing love, i know it's true.
it's my joy to honor You.
in all i do, i honor You.

* jewel - foolish games

2002-11-22T02:15:00.000-08:00

california

i don't think most of us california residents realize how lucky we are. sunshine almost everyday, great weather (at least in socal), and sooo much diversity. we got all sorts of ppl from different backgrounds, and all sorts of places to go to.

want mountains? the sierra nevadas are right there.
want water? u got a coastline of 1264 miles to cruise.
want the desert? the entire los angeles area was practically a desert before urbanization.
want serene rural/suburban areas? want the rush of big cities?
want fancy restaurants? want shopping malls?
want superstars who live large with a big house and five cars..?

how can we complain when we're living in the golden state.
move over garden state (NJ), gem state (ID), bluegrass state (KY), buckeye state (OH), magnolia state (MS), jayhawk state (KS), bonanza state (MT), sooner state (OK), badger state (WI)... don't even get me started on the north + south states.

haha.. so much california pride.

time for this california girl to go to sleep

* phantom planet - california

2002-11-21T01:59:00.000-08:00

for some late night entertainment..
euw! not THAT kind of entertainment, u sicko.

horses singing a capella

2002-11-21T01:47:00.000-08:00

cruisin through PCH on a warm summer day

yes that is exactly how i would describe how i feel on this fine winter night.
it feels almost unnatural to be enjoying life so much, cuz maybe things will get bad and i won't be happy anymore... but heck! imma enjoy it for now!

but before i start talking about my day, i wanted to clear up last night's blog.. hmm.. last night i was a bit delirious. i hope that explains the "evilness" deal. ahaha

ok today!
bad: missed kalx wednesday morning news (again!!) aah... i haven't been in there for soo long. i don't think i'll get my 12hrs/month requirement fulfilled! awwww i have to wait another 6 months to be little j the dj.

good: lunch with janet,paul,esther and the peena kwolada smoothie from jamba juice!

bad: lunch with janet,paul,ester at naan n curry. euw. half of my naan was burnt and the chicken curry was oily and gross and messy. it got on my white pants. i smelled like funky curry for the rest of the day :P soooo disappointed! no more naan n curry!! EVER!

good: sitting in front of dwinelle with jay chou #3 cd and music hw and people watching.

bad: STUPID UPPERCLASSMEN BOYS making fun of me :( its so frustrating cuz they make me not want to be treated like a "girl" but i think i do want to be treated like a "girl" but i dont wanna be treated like that if they tease other guys cuz they hang out with me cuz i'm a "girl"!!!! aaahhhh!! (u kno who you are!)

good: working out and sweating allll the evilness away and then washing myself clean. no more curry oiliness! none!

good: dinner at intermezzo with little linda. a nice LARGE chef salad for two and a raspberry italian soda. mmm tossed romaine lettuce, tomato, garbanzo beans, kidney beans, cucumber, carrot, egg, avocado, alfalfa sprouts, croutons all mixed in poppyseed dressing. yum!

good: small group. enough said :)

good: watching the bachelor with janet,elena,linda and criticizing everything about the show. ahaha.

good: KST(korean soccer team) soccer game. u guys did great!! it was reallly great seeing may again!! and hanging out with janet,elena,susan,kirby,borkae,timm is ALWAYS fun. janet showed me her very special little bobbing twisting dance. it's sooo cute!!

ooooh? and what is this talk about watching rent this weekend??? my favorite musical ever???

song of the moment: jimmy buffet - if you like pina coladas
this song is from the movie, the sweetest thing

2002-11-20T00:50:00.000-08:00

evilness (ee-vuhl-ness): expression used when one is still awake when one should've gone to sleep two hours ago.
plural- evilnesses.

my word!! MY WORD!! (ok elena?) puhahaha

j e n n 637 (12:46:19 AM): evilnesses
j e n n 637 (12:46:21 AM): evilness
j e n n 637 (12:46:24 AM): isnt that a cool word?
s coty boi EE (12:46:36 AM): KST is the definition of cool
s coty boi EE (12:46:41 AM): SOCCER is the defeition of cool
s coty boi EE (12:46:44 AM): you not going to sleep is NOT cool
j e n n 637 (12:47:18 AM): evilnesses

evilness

2002-11-20T00:44:00.000-08:00

introducing my friend(?), roach.
i will not use his real name but will refer to him as roach because that is what he is called and he is so MEAN to me!!
no, this is not alexander samuel hyun. this is roach!

j e n n 637 (12:41:21 AM): MEANIE
j e n n 637 (12:41:25 AM): U LAUGH WHEN I TRIP
ALEXsHYUN (12:41:41 AM): yeah yeah
ALEXsHYUN (12:41:45 AM): only cuz i care
ALEXsHYUN (12:41:45 AM): haha
j e n n 637 (12:41:52 AM): MEANIE
ALEXsHYUN (12:41:54 AM): i would have loved if u landed on ur face
ALEXsHYUN (12:41:59 AM): and of course not hurt urself
ALEXsHYUN (12:42:09 AM): but yeah...that woulda been real funny

song of the moment: duncan sheik - barely breathing

2002-11-19T17:00:00.000-08:00

i'm a drama queen

my hormones and emotions were allll over the place for the past few days, but i'm glad to say it's over. YAY!!! :)
sorry for scaring ya'll [u know who u are]

yesterday nite was utterly *spectacular*

after i saw the new oldies annihilate [that other team] in softball, i went up to tilden/lookout point to go see the leonids.
i kno it's just a buncha flying debris in the sky that makes those wonderful streaks of light but it was just so amazing.
stupid full moon in the sky, but when the meteor sightings were slowing down i started looking at the moon - and its coldness and loneliness really captured me.

and sometime during the hour or so i was lying on the ground with menz,diana,kai,debs,cindy,charlie with sleeping bags and blankets galore, i felt at peace. i somehow got the courage to face the world again.. all by myself. :)

i hope i never forget how i felt up there. shure, it was cold and smelled of pot [i duno why ppl needed to enhance the already spectacularness of the moment with that] but the clear sky dotted with specks of light, the sound of the wind rustling through the trees, the voices of my frenz, knowing that a bagazillion other people in all the remote corners of the world were looking up to the sky in hopes of catching a flash of the meteor shower...

God is truly a great artist.

as a result of staying up late to experience these things, i missed ochem lecture and music (not an unfamiliar story) and almost missed my sight singing quiz. whew!

today is also filled with good news:
*got an OK to apply to go abroad to lyon, france for fall 2003
*won a gray nalgene 32oz water bottle on ebay! ya!!!!

random advice from janice: don't sit on cold surfaces, it's not good for your uterus.
:) does that crack u up or WHAT?

song of the moment: del amitri - roll to me

2002-11-17T20:15:00.000-08:00

can this day get any worse...
[it's not just one thing so don't worry it's not you]

2002-11-16T03:19:00.000-08:00

identity crisis: who am i?

i have the cooooooolest small group ever. EVER. it is sooo easy to be myself and it is sooo comfortable just talking to them and chillen.
we are having a sleepover tonite (obviously i did not stay) but i think it's soo amazing how we can go from praising together, to sharing about our week and comforting each other, to baking and eating and dancing and laughing together...

i wonder if i'm the only person who's being exposed to this kind of environment for the first time.
i really wish i had a sibling sometimes.
cuz friends come and go, but family does not.

sooo i thought i was the only one going through this trance - this feeling of floating through the day.. bombarded with things to do, too tired to do the things i want to do. but boy, was i wrong!!!
and i desperately need to get rid of this attitude i have. this attitude of "i don't need to meet new ppl, i'll just surround myself with familiar things." i think that attitude has kept me from becoming close with my small group girls, with the freshmen at FiC, with ppl in my classes..

i wanna backtrack a little bit. i had a very thoughtful (in a good way) day, and i wanted to make sure i write it all down somewhere.. on this blog or in my private journal..

last nite i slept VERY late. i actually passed out, with the lights on, with my glasses on. I LOVE THAT!! haha. i love being able to really sleeep. i never give myself a chance to really sleeep because i consider sleep a waste of time (being the trying-to-be-freakishly-productive kinda girl i am).
i woke up 30 minutes before my stat midterm (yikes!) which went perty well. MUCH better than my chem midterm.
why doesn't anyone believe me when i tell them that i did horrribly in chem?? they'll feel bad when i find out my score and it's really bad.

rob is very nice. rob called me to make sure i was gonna make it to the stat midterm. i was supposed to be in front of dwinelle around noon to review with him, but i wasn't there so he called! rob is very nice.

so after stat, i went to work.
and on the way i called my mom. it makes me REALLY sad how i cannot communicate with my mom sometimes. like, i call, but there is nothing to talk about. all i get from her is: "did u call the gas company about the heater?"
arrgghh. i know she worries obsessively out of love, but i wish she could just be herself with me and stop worrying about protecting me from the trials of the "real world." because trust me i knoo the loneliness and hardships of the "real world." well.. almost.

which brings me to an article i read on thursday's Daily Cal.
here's a link to it: Off the Beat: Berkeley's 'Real World'
it reflects my theory about UCB's joy in squeezing all the youthfulness and optimism out of its students.

"Sure, students here should grow and learn to become part of the 'real world,' whatever that may be. But they might need some assistance along the way, especially in an environment so conducive to disillusion and depression"

amen to that.

work was great. i dunno about the "teams intern" who works alongside me in the Physical Science for Pre-Schoolers class i help out in.. but work was great. we went to the planetarium during class time to learn about stars and constellations. the planetarium reminded me of that episode of 'Friends' when Ross and Rachel are supposed to go out on a date but Ross gets stuck at museum and Rachel decides to stay with him and they chill at the planetarium...and end up sleeping together in the caveman display!! hahaha

ok, anyway... work was great because the kids love the class. i love that the kids love the class.

after work i called janet and finally got to talk to that girl.. havent really got to talk to her in a while! it sucks how ppl go through tough times and i'm not there for them to share with. it sucks how ppl go through great times and i'm not there for them to share with. i hate school :P
i wish my friends would use the phone more. seriously. NO ONE LIKES THE PHONE! arrgg it makes me sad.. cuz if i'm not with them all the time, i won't know what's going on with them, and i could be left out when they decide to do things.

while talking to janet i was walking to junior jane's apt. for the small group sleepover - and i stopped by janice's. that busy girl! i haven't seen her or talked to her in ages. ok this is making me depressed imma gonna stop.

but with the small group, i was realllly happy. if any of u girls are reading this, u make me happy!!!!
i absolutely loved singing praises with u girls.
i absolutely loved that u are sooo open and honest and real.
i absolutely loved that u love me when i am open and honest and real.

who needs boys??? my sg leave me with a ::warm and fuzzy:: feeling inside.
seriously, u guys out there! consider yourselves lucky to even be acknowledged by these girls!

song of the moment: india arie - video

2002-11-15T02:57:00.000-08:00

some people really make me smile

fun times at the library...
elena: i've been having trouble sleeping. i have amnesia... i mean insomia! well.. i have amnesia too.
jennychang: i believed a friend who said she was 1/3 white, 1/3 black, 1/3 japanese and then i realized, u can't be 1/3!!!

a conversation in the wee hours of the morning...
kennis kim (2:27:15 AM): ur going through an emotional low eh?
j e n n 637 (2:27:44 AM): eh~
kennis kim (2:28:09 AM): yanno what's nice?
kennis kim (2:28:09 AM): go outside right now
kennis kim (2:28:10 AM): the wind is just breathtaking
j e n n 637 (2:28:32 AM): why is it breathtaking
kennis kim (2:28:56 AM): i dont know
kennis kim (2:28:58 AM): like
kennis kim (2:29:03 AM): i was standing outside for a while
kennis kim (2:29:12 AM): and an overwhelming peace came over me

isn't he the coooolest guy ever!

song of the moment: oasis - live forever

2002-11-14T21:19:00.000-08:00

looong day, looong week

today i made it to chem lecture, and to music (and got to perform my duet!), went to work, library, stat review session
but i don't feel very accomplished. something's missing.. hmmm

ok, so i'm going through an emotional low right now, but i'm gonna pretend like it's not there. maybe focusing on positive things will make me forget about it.
questioning friends, feeling very unsmart + insecure.. not good.

but what IS good is
...the view of the bay from work [lawrence hall of science]. *wow* breathtaking. blue skies, sparkling water...
...roasted chicken and garlic ravioli
...three-midterms-in-one-week is almost over (and i can go on AIM once again)
...getting my internet jcrew purchase (i love it!)
[what's with me and lists?]

ok! time to go back to la bibliotheque.

thank you to nancinator and andychon and eugene and the klinkfamily for discovering this wonderful commenting thing!!

song of the moment: dave matthews band - everyday

2002-11-13T23:45:00.000-08:00

eeeek!!!

ochem midterm kicked my butt!!! arrgghh. i will get u back!!!

in honor of susan's birthday, here is some eye canddyy. al pacino - my, does he look dashing :)

song of the moment: busta rhymes - pass the courvoisier

2002-11-12T21:08:00.000-08:00

1 down...

2 more to go

it is the HARDEST thing trying to study for another midterm right after one midterm.
and here i am, wastin my time, desperately trying to avoid what i must do.

today was yet another day of many highs and lows - but the lows weren't too low so it's all good ;)

high: ice cream day in "secret formulas" (the class i help teach at LHS). it was the last day of class today and we made ice cream! a lotta mess and disasters here, but all in all it was a fun and memorable class. today they had to pick partners for ice-cream making, and there was one girl who didn't have a partner. ena (the teacher) asked her if she'd like to be partners with me. the girl said no. :(
but then i heard a little way off "i wanna be partners with jenn!!! me!! me!!!" and it was claire [one of the brighter and nicer students in the class]. i didn't know i was so appreciated :) it was a nice feeling. it made me feel bad for sometimes not being "all there" in class..

low: econ 100a midterm. enough said! blah! [but it wasn't tooooo bad]

low: while walking back home, random ppl coming up to me on sproul.. some guy (who kind of looked familiar...) walking right towards me saying hi.. i just smiled and walked by hahah. and then another random guy stops me, "would you like to participate in a survey? it'll take two minutes." i smiled and said, "no thanks"
man, it must be hard for ppl who can't say "no" to walk through sproul uninterrupted.

high: my new-found hobby of people-watching. seriously, when you're walking anywhere, just look at all the people around you. it is soooo interesting (and most of the times very amusing). hahaa. today i saw many look-alikes. there was one guy who really looked like stephen hull (mormon friend from agoura who is on his 2 year mission in south america).. i miss him :( wonder how he is doing. i also saw two very tall, very fair skinned, red haired twins!! i dunno why but i thought it was very funny. i never thought twins were funny before but hahaha it's so funny how there's two separate people who look exactly alike. mann wish i had a twin (if the world were only so lucky) hahaha jk.

ok time to go study-
wish i could play with this kitty instead...

song of the moment: linkin park - my december

2002-11-10T20:08:00.000-08:00

3 day weekend..

full of studying!!
but somehow i am not stressed... hmmm

a couple agoura alums came up to berkeley this weekend- andy and DJ lino.
the fact that i had 3 midterms coming up didn't really help. i wanted to hang out with them, yet i wanted to get my studying done..

but i took lino to some obscure person's house party last nite
and got to have lunch and go music shopping with them today~

ahhhh!! i feel so guilty!!

song of the moment: sarah mclaughlin - building a mystery

2002-11-08T13:16:00.000-08:00

so annoyed!!!!

so i awoke today at 10:30 AM. it was kind of a jolting wake up because i thought i had overslept and missed something
but i had not.
my waking up moments haven't been so pleasant lately. it's always "SHOOT! i'm late" and a madd rush to get ready...
i miss those times of waking up to sunlight filling the room.. fresh air coming in through the open patio door.. the birds chirping in the shades of the trees.. the sound of the little creek by my home in agoura..
when i wake up like this i just know that i'm gonna have a good day

now i awake to grayness (which wouldn't be so bad if our room had a decent view of the outdoors!), stale air, noise coming through the thin walls of our humble apartment.. and the first thoughts that enter my head are pessimistic. "dammit i have a long day today" or "shoot i haven't studied enough"

i made some tea for myself and then saw the medical vendor list waiting for me.. and i knew what i must do.
i picked up my cell phone and started calling all those pharmaceutical companies. i got flashbacks of working for reeds & son co. (a furniture outlet store) and calling all the manufacturers - getting transferred to 100000 people, getting yelled at by angry customers, feeling helpless. [that was the worst job ever]

see.. what i was doing today was trying to contact someone (anyone) in the pharm company who can give us (spiritual awakening mission) medical donations, which we would send to the poverty stricken in north korea. people have noo idea what is going on out there. innocent civilians are dying because of hunger and cold and disease - they're caught in a vicious cycle called poverty.
it hurts me so much that there is so much pain out there.. i want to help.. i NEED to help. and the fact that i can't get anywhere with these medical companies makes me sick to the stomach.
i was talking to one company in particular: watson pharmaceutical. and they straight out told me that they would rather not donate almost outdated medicine for "fear" that whoever gets it will be like "why is this company giving us expired medicine?!" and legal disputes would ensue..

so yes, after hearing this, i was pissed at watson pharmaceutical and their selfishness and coldheartedness - they reminded me of the big banks and the big farmers during the Great Depression who would burn their crops instead of sell/give them away to the starving public for a negative profit.

but i was even more pissed at AMERICA'S GREED!!!

if there wasn't so much greed then companies wouldn't HAVE to worry about law suits that might possibly maybe occur because they decided to donate their extra goods to those in need. [did u hear about that restaurant/fast food chain (?) that got sued because a homeless man who ate their donated food got sick and died..]

this encounter with reality left me with this resolution: NEVER be satisfied.

NEVER be content with the state the world is in. ALWAYS strive to change things. ALWAYS work to make things better.

i hate that i'm a no-name college student who has no power .. i must become someone big (REAL big) so people will really listen to me..

song of the moment: hoobastank - running away

2002-11-08T00:46:00.000-08:00

the nyquil is in my system. yayyy
ooooh i am sooo looking forward to tonite's sleep.

but it's so odd how i say i am gonna "sleep soon" at 10:30 PM and now its 12:41 AM. wasting time is sooooo bad. sooooooooo bad.
i wish someone would give me an incentive to end this obsession with AIM and blogger.

song of the moment: blur - coffee and tv

2002-11-07T23:16:00.000-08:00

it's starting to look a lot like...

i carried my umbrella with me all day (and night). which means, it's raining! i dunno how i feel about this...
the wind tonite almost flipped my umbrella and almost blew away my mom's handmade scarf! whew!
more rain/thunder/wind forecasted tomorrow in 94704

so...i don't think i'm really a cal student.
i have sooo much work to do but i live life so easily
i missed my ochem quiz this morning (just barely!) and i .. kind of don't care. i care about my grades and how well i do in classes, but when something bad happens, i brush it off real easily lately.. haha, i'm just gonna say i'm applying economics and the theory of sunk cost in my life.

i took a short nap, and then went to eat pho with sophomore esther, janet, and freshman amanda. mmmm must make pho trips a routine..
dude- we have some FUNNY girls.

1. amanda on phone: "hey (girl's name i forgot)! come down right now we are picking u up... but u are not there! call me back when u get this!"
2. janet and amanda making weird noises in the car [they can't handle the silence of janet's car]. i kno janet's not an only child.. wonder if amanda is..
3. janet bringing her own dessert INTO the restaurant.. can't take her anywhere!

immediately after that, went to see 8 mile with helene, ex-chem/math buddy jason, and their friend lina.
lemme just say.. that movie is not worth going to a matinee showing of it. heck, it's not even worth going to see for a free screening! (this means it's bad.. haha diana!!)
i was quite surprised that eminem/slim shady/marshall mathers would agree to play such a role in such a movie...

there was potential for the movie to be good, but there were so many loose ends (relationships with girlfriends, mother, sister) and so much difficulty in understanding what the ppl were saying.. it was quite hard to enjoy.
i would say that the movie did a pretty good job showing eminem/slim shady/marshall mathers' character tho. the different ways he's pulled - by his friends, by success.
maybe this movie wasn't made to be understood by short asian girls from agoura hills.
but heck! that doesn't mean i'm oblivious to what's going on in the world. just cuz i'm not all about the underground hip hop scene...

the only good thing about 8 mile was going with jason and helene!!! how fun it is to see them doing sweet little things for each other. (see previous blog to find out a little more about this relationship)
and helene is so fun to talk to!! AAAHHH. she told me about saturday night - about how i acted. not that i didn't know how i was acting.. but actually i didn't know i was acting like THAT.
i must censor what i say on this public blog, but lemme just say this: moderation is key (how much more vague can i get?)

loong day ahead. must go get some sleep (and nyquil). sleep (and nyquil), here i come!!!

song of the moment: eminem - lose yourself

2002-11-06T22:17:00.000-08:00

aaachhhooooo!!!!!

excuse me.

my physical strength has been spiralling down at rapid speed.. and my emotional strength goes along with it
but i can stand it, i can take care of myself - hopefully. [i secretly wish my mom were here]

dude, it's so weird how easily i get distracted.. and distraction is no good right now!

this week:
chem 3b quiz tomorrow

and next week:
econ 100a midterm tuesday
chem 3b midterm wednesday
stat 21 midterm friday

ok, but despite this madness, there have been moments of laughters and smiles [this is my effort to look at the bright side of things]:

janet and her "the hot apple cider at cafe milano is soooo good!! it's this apple cider..and.. and.. it's hot!" and her inviting me to be the 4th wheel in her relationship...
alex "roach" and his stankin smartness and popularity. he pretends like he's a slacker, but ladies and gentlemen, do not be fooled. we got a nerd here!!
ex-chem/math buddy jason who ::flutter flutters:: for his sweet, short, artsy, masupial, muffin!!! aaahh (gag)
helene who ::flutter flutters:: for her ghetto nerdy pumpkin...
eric han and his hard outer shell but soft candy inside.. (that almost sounded wrong) and his corn kernel heating pad and liz for making it!
my mommy who cheers me up w/o even knowing that i need some cheering up

thank you, random acts of kindess..

song of the moment: tori amos - a sorta fairytale
(this song is up there with fiona apple's across the universe!!)

2002-11-04T19:53:00.000-08:00

nice to know...

that i'm not alone :) i had an awweesome lunch with sophomore esther today (thank you esther!). hahaha she made me scarf down a fajita burrito in 30 min when she couldn't even finish her own!! it's allll good tho hehe

i didn't know we shared common interests, or even common problems. i bet there are so many ppl i haven't met out there with whom i could share a truly meaningful relationship.

very interesting how God plans things..
today - on the most tiring and stressful day of the week - God provided me with quality time with a great friend and a niiice 2 hr nap. niiice.

ok, so i added a nedstat on my blogger (i always saw those graph looking icons on other ppls blogs and i wondered what they were!) and it is so cool!! it tell u the # of ppl who check your site each day and where they are checking it from..
i got an australia and puerto rico and irvine..
interesting...

aahhh i must stop avoiding the studies that await me-

but before i leave, i wanna share with everyone kennis' word(s) of encouragement
[it really made me smile.. thanks kennis]:

kennis kim (7:28:17 PM): chin up
kennis kim (7:28:22 PM): twirl around
kennis kim (7:28:27 PM): and plop back down
kennis kim (7:28:33 PM): and u will see
kennis kim (7:28:40 PM): life in a different way
kennis kim (7:28:46 PM): a nauseated way
kennis kim (7:28:53 PM): bye bye

song of the moment: sade - by your side

2002-11-04T02:03:00.000-08:00

jaded...

is what i am. everything seems so mediocre lately; everything i do is just ~eh. i need an enthusiastic and passionate someone to (BAM) infuse life back into me.
jules pointed out to me today that whenever she talks to me i am lukewarm. i didn't know i gave off that vibe, but i realized that i HAVE been really lukewarm.

[alex and kevin also told me that when they first saw me they thought i was a nal la li (a social butterfly). hahaha that's a first! too bad that image didn't stick to me and now i am labeled as "nerdface." ugh!!]

studying has never been such a chore before..
socializing has never been such a hassle

is this what it's like to be in a "trance"? dude.. i don't want my thoughts to always be elsewhere.
what must i do to go regain consciousness and resume living life?

please tell me...

song of the moment: jimmy eat world - sweetness

2002-10-31T00:43:00.000-08:00

viva la vie boheme!

saw la boheme @ sf with tha girls tonite. verryy interesting.
so basically it was like rent (the best musical ever ever!) except la boheme is an italian opera.. and rent is an american musical..
and rent is a lot(!) more scandalous
jenn likes the scandalousness~ hehehe

i think with age, i am becoming more and more callous about.. everything! movies, people's feelings.. everything resembles a sappy played out story. both beauty and the beast and la boheme made me laugh more than they made me sad. and la boheme is supposed to be a tragedy..
ggrrr frustrations with life

must think happy thoughts

i went home last weekend, and boy.. nothing can beat home sweet home. i dunno WHAT it is about home, or agoura, or socal... but i feel so welcome and i feel like i belong there. haha funny how the reason i left socal was that i felt welcome up here

my mom packed me a gripp of food to last me til thanksgiving! gom gook, jab chae, gal bi, kim chi, shrimp, vegetables..
it's allll love, baby!

i came home suuuper duper tired monday.. but i did wake up for my 9am chem lab (pat on the back). ex-floormate jason is goin down to irvine to go to an incubus concert this weekend. too bad he's flying down, or else i woulda gone down with him.. haha

and another happy thing: today was an awwesome day
not only was the weather just right, but i got to catch up with a buncha ppl. i guess today, i felt like i had a life. haha yayy

missed radio broadcast, again, but got up in time to go into gsi's chem office hours and get allll my questions about lab answered (consider lab done!)
thennn met up with ex-dormmate sophie (that pimpette!) for lunch and made a new friend, dan. i introduced them to the joys of coffee source, which is a GGREAT salad and sandwich place. yum!

skipped stat lecture and just sat and chat with sophie and then met erin and janet and ran into ex-roomie my-lan and chatted some more when i shoulda been studying for my stat quiz.

after stat quiz, i went to gym and saw ex-floormate sarah sasaki there! (rsf two days in a row! ya!)
then off to la boheme.
what a nice day it was

funny story:
while christina ha(mama), vicky, freshman eileen, and i were walking back home from the BART, we were talking about height and admiring christina ha's perfect height of 5' 8"...

me: i think 4'11" is the perfect height. (jk)
eileen: you're 4' 11"???
me: (nod)
eileen: are you handicapped?????

hahaha had a good laugh about that. but ouch! that hurts a little..

aahhh what fun filled days... college IS really what u make of it

song of the moment: ben folds five - brick

2002-10-24T14:33:00.000-07:00

strangest day ever..

kindof like the strange cold but clear weather today.. i'm a surrounded by an eerie yet calm feeling..

strange incident #1 - i woke up for chem lecture!! i was gonna wake up at 5:30 am to study a bit, but i decided to sleep in a little but woke up at 6:40 am!! got dressed and ready by 7:10, ate breakfast [another strange incident here. see #2], and had time to review a little for the quiz

strange incident #2 - while making omelette for breakfast, i was cutting a bagel with a mini knife and cut myself a little bit. it hurt but it barely broke skin. soo i continued cuting, lalala, and then BAM! the knife was 2cm IN my FLESH.. (the fleshy part of my hand). wow i was so stunned. after staring at it for longer than i should have, i took it out and no blood. but soon the blood started to trickle down...

this incident totally reminded me of my mortality. altho sometimes i feel invincible, i'm really just soft flesh that can easily be mangled and torn to pieces by sharp and fast moving objects..by disease..

i quickly washed the wound, elevated my hand above my heart, and put pressure on other places so that i wouldnt focus too much on the throbbing pain..

strange incident #3 - nuuuumerous times tripping and a backpack banging my head in pimentel.. not so pleasant :P

strange incident #4 - weird (but funny) substitute teacher in music.. practiced "Geographical Fugue" by Ernst Toch which doesn't use pitches (like normal songs) but rather uses monotone notes with different values. it goes something like: "Trin-i-dad! and the big Mississippi and the town Honolulu and the lake Titicaca, the Popocatepetl is not in Canada rather in Mexico Mexico Mexico Canada Malaga Rimini Brindisi Canada Malaga Rimini Brindisi... Yes! Tibet Tibet Tibet Tibet Nagasaki Yokohana Nagasaki Yokohana Tibet Tibet Tibet Tibet...."
yes...

strange incident #5 - [if u are eating something u might want to finish it before reading on..] there was nothing to do at work, so kim meghan and i took a looonng lunch break outside at the lawn. first, we discover some odd poo. very neat poo in neat clumps. imagine a handful of chocolate covered raisins packed in a ball. imagine a giant raspberry .. except it's not seeds of fruit! it's seeds of poo!! euw.. euw..
so we tried to look away from the two heaps of poo and alas! a silvery squarish opened wrapper!! megan flips it with her shoe. it's a wrapper for lifestyles ribbed condom! and the used condom was not so far away!!
my, we had a pleasant sight while eating lunch... poo clump - wrapper - used condom - poo clump
gag reflexes working..

well, at least the day wasn't boring :)

song of the moment: garbage - the trick is to keep breathing

2002-10-23T14:53:00.000-07:00

it's amazing how many things can change within a week

you can become a year older
you can acquire a significant other (not me!)
you can grow close to someone (or grow farther apart)
you can fall behind in classes cuz u haven't studied..

it seems like i haven't really sit down to think about and soak up all the things goin on right now. and then when i realize all that's happened, i'm so overwhelmed and everything becomes jumbly and i lose focus.
par exemple, i'd get distracted from a conversation with someone even if i'm the one doing the talking! oy..

i am sooooooo glad that i am going home this weekend. much needed break from alll this craziness.

i don't think college likes me. i work hard and i want to like college. even when college kicks me to the ground i stand right back up and give it a biiiggg hug.
but what hurts is when i'm having trouble just standing and ask college to lend me its hand for a little bit, it refuses and just stands there as i collapse.

college is mean.

song of the moment: five for fighting - superman (it's not easy)

2002-10-20T20:27:00.000-07:00

3.5 more hours till...

hopefully i'll be done with my lab by then. that would SUCK to be working on a lab when one is coming of age.

so the pot luck today was nice :) sun has the cutest nicest place.. sooo jealous.
and eunice is the best cook!! i am proud to be the same year as her :)

hmm ppl keep asking me what i'm gonna do tomorrow. sigh.. it sux that the world doesn't stop for me for just ONE day. yup
so i will be doing the usual.. lab, class, daydreaming, wandering..
and hopefully gym at night? then watching heat (the best movie ever according to kevin)
and turning off my phone, screening my calls, and putting an obscure away message on AIM :)

oh and one last thing..
i didn't mean to worry anyone by my last blog.
didn't realize it gave off such depressing vibes..

song of the moment: missy elliot - work it

2002-10-19T23:37:00.000-07:00

chingoo

means "friend" in korean. yup.. watched chingoo with kevin tonite.. and wow.. that movie totally exceeded my expectations. all the korean movies i've seen so far have been.. well.. crappy. and this was not! great acting. great plot. great cinematography. great.

and well, it got me thinking :) like all the 1 billion things that get me to think around this time of month..
chingoos. friends. les amis. whatever

friends are like cigarettes:

it all starts with the aid of a spark
some common bond or understanding.
you take deep breaths
sometimes it goes smoothly. sometimes not
like the crackling noise of the paper as you inhale.
you near the end, you feel a sting inside
and you feel the fire coming closer and closer
you can't simply enjoy it anymore.. you have to be cautious
careful not to burn yourself
then with one last drag.. it ends.
leaving you with only stench,
surrounding you in a cloud of smoke.
the world is blurrier than it was before
and you're hooked..

song of the moment: fiona apple - criminal